The Ringmaster
Our life post offspring has generally been run like a 3 ring circus. In times past I can only say that I survived the day to day existence as well as many vacations because I am a master list maker. Now, with the decline in my short term memory and the rise in technological applications I have taken my lists to a new level. In fact, I created this post while on vacation through the use of Evernote. So now let me present to you our beach vacation in the form of my To-Do list:
Screen porch sitting at the beach house.
Pack clothes
Pack beach chairs, canopy, beach cart, boogie boards, sand toys, beach towels, sunscreen, bug spray, beach cooler
Pack kitchen equipment: chef’s knife, paring knife, cutting board, large covered pan with lid, corkscrew/bottle opener, travel spice kit, groceries, paper products, laundry pods, dishwasher pods, dish soap, liquid hand soap
Pack toiletries, large first aid kit, small first aid kit, everybody’s medicines
Call pharmacy for refills since medications are empty.
Pack blow-up mattress
Pack wine
Pack more wine
Zach
Insert all of the above into the car-top carrier
Forgot to get car-top carrier
Drive to Becky’s to borrow her car-top carrier
Return to house with the carrier and half of Becky’s beach stuff
Drive to beach
Arrive at beach house
Beach beer
Unpack all the crap we brought
Run to liquor store, which is literally across the street (staggering distance)
Buy beer, tequila, vodka, bourbon bloody Mary mix, margaritia mix
Go to the beach
Return from beach
Buy more beer
Go to beach
Return from beach
Buy more beer
Challenge for bourbon shots, Dad wins
Throw out empty beer bottles and bourbon bottles
Call Eric & ask him to bring a Growler of Habanero beer from Whole Foods
Call Eric back and request a couple of 12 packs, too
Help Eric unpack the Growler and two 15 pack suitcases at 3:00 am when he arrives
We think this is Mike.
We’re not sure.
Throw out empty vodka bottle in someone else’s trash while walking down to the beach
Return from beach
Wash out empty Growler bottle
Stack empty beer cans in back yard so kids can practice pitching
Buy hard cider to make Snake Bites with remaining beer
Pack for beach
Argue about who’s drinking the Miller Lite now that all the good beer is gone
Return from beach
At the Wright Bros Memorial
Stagger over to the Brew Threw & buy blueberry flavored beer because you like the can
Finish blueberry beer, bourbon, break into Mom’s wine then call the restaurant where Mom & Dad are having their much deserved date night because you are now out of alcohol
Go to sleep since there’s no more beer
Who’s responsible for this?
Awaken & go to beach
Return from beach
Outdoor shower then go to ABC store & buy lots of rum
Compete in family game night and show those grade school kids who’s boss
Wonder what happened to all the rum
Decide to go down to the beach to search for the pirates who must have sneaked into the house and stolen our rum
Assume that you went to bed since you are now waking up
Go to beach
Mike
Drink lots of water at the beach
Get infestation of sea lice or something that causes everyone to start itching
Return to beach house
Shower, pack up everything and leave for home
Return home
Unpack
Enjoy wonderful memories
Building memories grain by grain
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