10 Places You Won’t Find Me

The world is our oyster –
not so much.

It’s been a while since we’ve been anywhere fun. Next week is the end of school for Don & Damian. Baseball will finish in early June and then our summer travel season can begin! I’m already busy plotting some Fall and Winter adventures (don’t tell Don). It must seem like nothing is off limits in our travel adventures but just the other night Don & I were discussing destinations we just have no interest in visiting. This led to an expansion of the discussion to include things like modes of transportation and general travel related experiences that we’ll pass on. So here it is in a nutshell, places you won’t find us and things we won’t do:

Not my style

Anywhere that I am expected to dress like this will definitely not be a travel destination.

No thanks.

Even if I were offered free tickets I don’t see me flying any airline headed to Egypt. I’m sure it’s a land of wonder and beauty but their track record lately has not been impressive.

Does this look like fun?

My claustrophobia and hatred for the cold preclude me from any possible enjoyment of this fishing experience.

No bueno

Columbia, South America. I’m sure it’s a lovely place but when your national sport involves cartels brutally killing clergy I have to pass.

Entomophagy? I think not.

Many cultures routinely eat insects. Central Africa leads the pack with 36 countries. Not a chance.

Strong resemblance to work.

“Adventure Travel” You know, the experiences where you get to do the work. If I wanted to work I would stay at my job…where they pay me for this shit.

I feel an episode of insomnia about to begin.

The ‘hostel’ experience. I lived through the 70’s and have had enough dirty hippie encounters to last a lifetime.

Did I mention my fear of heights?

Am I the only one who sees the problem here?

Romantic, right? Not so much when you are plummeting to earth engulfed in flames. The whole thing is flammable! And you use FIRE as an energy source!! No brainer here.

What, the ground is not good enough for you?

We actually saw these ‘cliff campers’ while hiking in Zion National Park. I like to camp. It allows me to feel connected to the earth. To what are they connected? A skinny piece of nylon?

Way too much crap to carry!

Backpacking. I love me a good day hike but when you begin to resemble a Galapagos tortoise I have to respectfully decline.

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