Chapter 1: A Long Expected Party

Welcome to The Shire

Timeline: Six Months Ago

Me to my son: “So, what’s your rain plan?”
(A wedding is planned at a lovely outdoor venue.)

My son to me: “Uh, we get wet?”
(He comes by his obnoxious sarcasm honestly.)

Timeline: Six Days Ago

Me to my son: “So, what’s your hurricane plan?”
My son to me: “Sacrifice to the gods?”

What happens when your wedding vision is Bilbo Baggin’s 111 Birthday Party meets A Midsummer Night’s Dream and a Category 3 hurricane wants to crash the party?

Here is that story:

I can’t begin to do justice to the monumental amount of time, energy, creativity, physical labor and love that went into the planning and execution of this event. The Pardo family, spearheaded by Natalie’s oldest sister Chris are an amazingly talented collection of artists whose vision and efforts created the magic that transformed Greenock Manor in Orange, Virginia into The Shire. Family and friends pitched in their individual talents: construction skills for building the bar & dessert table; electrical troubleshooting when strings of lights were malfunctioning; suspending the hoops from the top of the tentpoles then hand placing the greenery, flowers and glass globes with the twinkly lights; hand-making all the bouquets & boutonnieres (how I got involved in that task I’ll never know!); assembly of the centerpieces which were hand filled with 2 types of live moss, fresh cut flowers, greenery & lavender; creating the tree stump walkway to the tent when each stump had different lit lanterns and strings of lights were strung overhead in the trees with a perimeter of whiskey barrels also with lanterns placed on top making an illuminated walkway (most helpful after dark); each table was set with linens and china; wood burning the elvish script lettering into the table signs & beer kegs; installation of the dance floor; flowers & greenery were inserted into the ceremony archway and then wrapped in fabric (this is just the stuff that went on outside). Inside the manor house food was prepared for the non-rehearsal dinner and pre-event luncheon; gift table and hors d’ouveres tables were set and decorated; guest sign-in was a photo booth that provided polaroids to be inserted into the guest book; fresh flowers were artfully arranged throughout the house. The spread sheet that was utilized for task delegation, completion and timeline was a work of archetectural genius masterminded by Chris.

Alter before embellishment

Decorating the alter.

Adding greenery and flowers to the hoops

Natalie painting signs

View from back deck to guest house

‘Before’

The uniform of the day was ‘rain boots’ and those of us who had them were truly grateful that we did.

A glimpse of the Master Checklist:

By the end of Day 1 everyone was sweaty, soaked, dirty and covered in mosquito bites. Some weddings release doves, we had mosquitos. They laughed at us as we applied bug spray that was brought in by the pallet. Now it was time for the non-rehearsal dinner. I believe the intention was to rehearse, however once 2 enormous Tupperware tubs full of beer and all the wine that was supposed to be for the wedding was consumed there was not much interest in rehearsing shown by the members of the bridal party.

Work party mustering second wind before non-rehearsal dinner.

Bride, Groom & Best Man
refreshed & rejuvenated

Meanwhile, back inside. . .
Can you feel the love tonight?

Things are starting to go downhill.

The town of Orange has a noise ordinance that basically says no loudness outside after 11:00 pm so things move inside and around midnight folks are settling down (that would be me). Things are still in full swing downstairs like piano playing and Disney musical sing-a-longs. Guests who are not staying at the Manor House stagger their way across the street to various hotels and inns. Some tote black plastic contractor bags full of beer with them. Our lovely innkeeper, Chanel, announces that she is now locking down the property and she exits.

My bedroom at the Manor

What nobody realizes is that Don & Steve (my oldest son) have walked down to the gas station in search of more beer (mistake) but decided to indulge in a few gas station chili dogs while there. Arms full of beer, they return to the house only to discover that they cannot enter. They try calling anyone who’s number they have at the Manor House. No one answers.

What to do? What to do? They stagger across to the hotel where the kids have been bedded down, drop all their beer on the front desk and begin the attempt at having the desk manager give them a key to the kid’s room. Fortunately, Steve was at the original check in (the kid’s room is in my name) and around 3:00 am they are finally able to get off the streets of Orange where it’s only a matter of time before they get locked up for public drunkenness.

And we were worried about the kids’ behavior at the hotel!

Around 7:30 am Don enters my room. “Didn’t you wonder where I was?” he asked. “Nope.” I replied. He decides to join me for breakfast before heading off to bed. He informs me that when he left Steve, he was alive. Unfortunately, now Kim has not only the kids but her husband to care for this morning. I head down to the tent to assist with final set up which is scheduled to end at 12:30 pm when the guys depart for the hotel to begin their preparations and the girls dress at the Manor. Photographer is scheduled to arrive at 3:00 pm, guests at 4:00 pm & ceremony at 4:30 pm (weather permitting).
It seems decidedly more dry out today. (At least to me) There’s still a bunch of work going on at the tent. The tables are being set after the centerpieces are finished. Dessert table looks great, bar is stocked, now dance floor being cleared and cleaned, dry dirt and cedar bedding applied to keep the ground dry. Outside the chairs are being wiped off and a radar check shows we seem to show dry skies from now until around the time of the ceremony. Fingers crossed! I head back to my room after grabbing a sandwich from the luncheon set up. I have about 2 hours to shower, do hair & make up and dress. Don is over at the hotel bringing lunch to Steve and the kids. I decide to take 20 minutes to pray and meditate.
Don arrives while I’m putting on my face. He zips my dress for me and ensures that my spanx aren’t failing me by leaving any unsightly lumps. Last minute check of each other. This is as good as it’s going to get.

Ready to go!

Meanwhile, downstairs the guys have arrived and are trying to figure out how to put on a boutonniere.

The photographer is underway with the First Look photos and we decide to head out to the deck.

Our ‘first look’.

We notice some sunlight shining down on the alter and some small patches of blue in the sky! Hurry up!
The announcement is made for the guests to be seated and we are told to line up for the processional.

Natalie looks so beautiful! (photo from Nikki Scott)

Our officiant, the honorable Jake, is now regretting not having a rehearsal. Not to fear, he nails it.

“I now pronounce you
legal partners.” (Ugh, Kids today!) photo from Nikki Scott

The first raindrops started almost immediately. The guests headed down to the cocktail hour and we headed off with the photographer. It wasn’t long before we were joining in the festivities. I did keep my ‘cute shoes’ on until after the Mother & Son dance (“Come Rain or Come Shine” by B.B.King & Eric Clapton) but then traded them for the new pair of Toms that Natalie & Eric gave me for my birthday which were then traded for my Pink rain boots when the ground behind our seats started getting muddy from the intermittant downpours. However, there was no raining on this parade despite many abandoning shoes altogether and several slips and slides in the mud for some.

First, we dance! (photo by Christina Pardo Brooks)

Then, we dine!

Devon Lee did an outstanding job with the catering because it isn’t easy trying to provide for a horde of hobbit-sized appetites.

Food photos by Devon Lee

Then there was the bar.
I know that there were 2 types of beer on tap. I know that there were several wine choices. I know there was whiskey.
Then there was this:

Bolivian fire water. (picture courtesy of someone else)

What I know is that Natalie’s Aunt is somehow responsible for this stuff now being available in the U.S.A.
It is used in making Natalie’s ‘signature cocktail’ which contains this Unholy Grape, ginger ale & lime juice.
It is magnificent stuff but must be consumed carefully by professional drinkers only.
Most of those in attendance were not professional drinkers.

Non professional drinkers

As in most types of affairs, the dance floor starts off with a few brave souls. The dance floor occupation is proportional to the liquor consumption. More drinking, more dancing. This crowd was brought to their feet initially by 2 music genres: Country & Latin American. After loosening up with those we flowed through oldies, pop and then we proceeded to the drunk sing-a-long/dance-a-long stage with such classics as:

Dropkick Murphys, “Kiss Me I’m Shitfaced”
Disney’s, “Gaston”
Don McLean’s, “American Pie”
Old Crow Medicine Show’s, “Wagon Wheel”
Journey’s, “Don’t Stop Believin'”
Queen’s, “Bohemian Rhapsody” & “Under Pressure” to name a few. . .

The night is young.

It’s all fun & games until you hear, “Last Call!” from the bartender. People were returning from their ‘last call’ with entire bottles of alcohol. To be honest, I consumed more liquor in a shorter amount of time after ‘last call’ was announced than I did all evening long. That was because the youngsters (read: non-professional drinkers) thought it was time for shots with “Mama Russo”!
Noise ordinance is now in effect. The kids are still pretty noisey.
The next morning they are decidely more subdued while guzzling gatorade & Advil. It is time to strike the set and go about the tasks of a life together. Congratulations to Natalie & Eric. We love you both immeasurably❣

“Hush! Hush!” “Good People! and good night.”
photo by Nikki Scott

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