When you live on a mountaintop Halloween doesn’t come to you. You must go to Halloween. Prior to our moving to Fauquier County we lived in a suburban neighborhood where you could pound pavement in search of trick or treat treasures. Now we must travel in order to provide a Halloween experience for our grandson, Damian. For 15 years we have looted the same Marshall, VA housing development. This year we needed a change. We decided to find the scariest most frighteningly horrible place in the entire U. S. of A. We think we found it.

Our destination

Not everyone can score an invite to trick or treat The White House. It helps if you correspond regularly with our First Lady.

Yeah, we tight like that.

Actually, children of the armed forces and certain local school districts score the tickets each year. Our beloved principal, Joy Seward, was able to provide some of the Coleman Elementary School families with a true Halloween treat. The plan was for everyone to find their way downtown and then meet up in front of The White House. Being subway savvy ex-New Yorkers, we opted to take the Metro. Although the last time Don was on the subway he used a 50 cent token. He was unprepared to negotiate the fare machines at the Vienna Metro Station. After contemplating them, he decided to instruct Damian in the fine art of turnstile jumping while I and our friends The Bowen’s chose to pay our fares.

Damian & Eli riding the rails.

Don & Damian after their appeal hearing for turnstile jumping.

We had a 4:30 p.m. entry time and had to meet up with our group prior to lining up. How would we find them in this throng? Not to worry. Our fearless leader was standing on the street ready to round us up.

Mrs. Seward as spotter.

Despite the huge number of folks (and the fact that it was being run by the government) it was amazingly well organized. Everyone had their own lines based on the scheduled entry time. You were sent through as a group and your first stop was the security check point where you sent your bag through an airport-type scanner and you went through the metal detector. The aides that were organizing the entry point were all in costumes ranging from Harry Potter to dirty hippies. There was a huge police presence everywhere you went.

Adorable pink cowgirl

Nothing screams, “children’s event here” like automatic weapons.

However, despite the crowds, lines and threat of imminent attack it was all forgotten when you walked onto the grounds.

human spiders on a suspended web

I always suspected it was a three ring circus up there.

Everywhere you turned there was someone giving out candy or a special treat.

There were red, white and blue M&M’s in a box with the presidential seal, Hershey’s kisses with blue and silver stripes, hand painted cookies in the shape of the White House, cones of kettle corn and of course an individually wrapped apple (just to name a few of the goodies).

The entertainment was pretty amazing too!

Let them eat cake

The decorations were outstanding.

It certainly didn’t seem to matter if you were standing on the left side of the lawn or the right because everyone agreed that a good time was had by all.
(No, we did not get to see our host and hostess. I heard they were present earlier. Maybe it was during Fairfax County’s scheduled time.)

Follow

If your idea of normal is dressing up like a side show freak and traipsing out into the dark then it started out as a pretty normal night.

Marcel & Noelle
French Mimes

Each October a calling occurs and it summons the faithful to an undisclosed location in the wilds of West Virginia. Salem’s Lot reunites under the waning crescent moon to celebrate the season, cast spells, drink potions and practice rituals too horrible to elucidate in words. This year the focus was on creating and consuming potent potables made from rendered animals and distilled spirits (jello shots and vodka-soaked gummi bears). They also had a rousing success resurrecting a zombie cat. The members of the coven also cast spells to force the truth from the mouths of the assembled and after their souls were bared laughed mercilessly at each other’s bleeding wounds.

Yep, a good time was had by all.

Crescent moon calls all to come.

In WV it is actually this crescent moon.

Zombie cat after returning from death. It was originally orange.

Despite the strength of their magic, the Russo’s almost missed the festivities. Mrs. Russo had lent out her usual mode of transportation to her sister, who obviously did not subscribe to the rule of “don’t drink (blood) and drive”.

She was flying on a suspended license.

Stuck with having to employ a more earthly means of transportation, the Russo’s set out for the undisclosed haunted house that would be hosting this year’s festivities.

Our host’s lair

Our hostess, Robyn Rutherford, before putting on her make up.

They hit the road in high spirits, anxious to reunite with their fellow ghouls. Despite the incredible distance they had to navigate to find this year’s location, they were moving right along and expected to arrive on time. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans.

The accident that shut down Route 50.

An uninterrupted line of red lights as far as the eye could see caused the Russo’s to decelerate and then come to a complete and utter stop. They waited and they waited and they waited some more. As the minutes transformed into hour intervals they searched for things to amuse and occupy themselves.

Marcel Rousseau playing with his phone.

Noelle contemplating having a beer but not wanting to pee on the side of the road like many of the other captives.

Aware that others in their group were also probably stuck in the same traffic, they desperately tried to make contact via their psychic abilities (because, of course, there’s no cell service in the middle of nowhere). Numerous emergency vehicles made their way to the scene. Interestingly, none left with lights and sirens. A lone, white van arrived being escorted by a police car.

Two silent prayers were released into the cosmos.

Eventually, as they always do, signs of life returned and the traffic started to move again. The Russo’s arrived at their party a little more grateful for the opportunity to spend time with their friends. They are not ones to take things for granted anymore.

Three-peat, bitches!

At the end of the night the Russo’s, once again, took home the Best Couples Costume trophy. However, they realized that the real prize was getting to spend time laughing with their friends.

Have a Happy and Safe Halloween.

Follow

Von’t you join me for Oktoberfest, Ya?

Guten Morgen! I am Utter, your guide for Oktoberfest today. You will like my tour for der Oktoberfest. Put on your lederhosen und let’s get started, ya? Schnell!!

Room service.

We haf much to see so have your breakfast und get dressed, you lazy Hausfrau! Utter is going to check for the set up und see that things are in order. Come with me to the grounds.

The stuff for the kinders.

I see the bouncy bouncers for the kinders have arrived. I expect mein liebchens will have much fun mit these.

The pretty ponies

I have also had the local farmers to bring their ponies so the kinder may enjoy sitting atop these.

The Oom PahPah Band

The Bremen Town Musicians have arrived! Since there is no alcohol to be served on Sunday mornings in West by God VA until 1:00pm I assume the musicians stopped in Maryland for a few steins before arriving here, ya? Not to worry, the Mrs. had a bottle of Riesling stashed in her koffer. Utter is pretty lit up already, ya?

Since I can have no beer yet I will try to sample the many fine wieners to be found here. Why do you laugh at Utter?

Is it time for beer yet?

Finally, it is time for the ceremonial tapping of the keg! While all of you are standing in line with your empty pitchers in hand, Utter’s new friends have shown me the secret place where you get assortment of bottled German beers for cheaper. Prost!

After drinking comes dancing!

Und after a few beers you can change into your dancing outfits and “get down”.

Let’s polka!

Utter’s table

When you are too hot from all your dancing you can come sit under the shade tree mit Utter.

Don’t let broken limbs get you down! Drink more.

Don’t worry if you can’t dance when your foot is in a cast – Utter has the cure for what “ales” you! Ha! Utter made mit the funny joke!

Auf Wiedersehen!

So hurry to the Oktoberfest, my little Schnitzel & I will save you some strudel. (Ve already drank all the beer.)

Follow