I think of Independence Day as the beginning of the end of summer. My garden is in full bloom, my spring crops are on their last legs, the summer bounty is almost pickable and we have just returned from our family beach retreat.

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We headed off last week to Kill Devil Hills, NC coming into the Outer Banks via Manteo as we met up with Steve, Kim and the boys in Raleigh. This route has us avoiding all the horrors of coming through 64, 168 & 158 where you mingle with all the Virginia Beach traffic. Unfortunately, Sun Realty which we have rented through for 30+ years figures we are coming in with all the rest of the Northern Virginia riff raff and schedules us to check in at the Kitty Hawk office instead of the Nags Head office. I call to try to mitigate that and request that our check in be switched to Nags Head. I am informed that is not possible. Fortunately, Kim and I are able to sail through to the Kitty Hawk office, which is empty when we arrive at about 4:20 p.m. As I am checking in I discover that I am not retrieving a physical key but instead am given a code to the keypad lock on the property’s door. Not for ‘nuthin Sun Realty but this is 2019. Airbnb has it all over you. Why can’t I just text you a photo of me holding my driver’s license and then you text me the code? Your system is archaic.

Meanwhile, we send Don & Steve to do the week’s shopping and the kids retreat to the pool.

The rest of the Russos were joining us for the long July 4th holiday weekend. There will be lots of room as there are bedrooms a plenty each with their own bathrooms and they are all located on another floor from my suite! The house is very well equipped including a fully stocked kitchen, gas grill, outdoor shower, basketball court, cornhole boards, ping pong, smart TVs in all the rooms and a great selection of games and DVDs. The place ain’t half bad. We unpack decide it’s cocktail time, watch the sunset and head to the beach for a night visit.

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We are fortunate as for the most part we had spectacular weather. The water was cold our first day but became progressively warmer each day. The surf was mild and there were no jellyfish, sea lice or sharks. The kids got roasted the first days as they are dumb and reluctant to listen when we tell them to put on more sunscreen.

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There was plenty of ‘friendly’ competition also as the family engaged in various games and activities.

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We engaged in creative cocktail making serving mojitos, moscow mules, Nana’s Caramel Apple & the winner:

July 4th began and ended with a bang.

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At the completion of the various displays accompanied by raucous Russo cheering we headed back home catching a glimpse of an ensuing fist fight that was predicated by someone being accused of pilfering someone else’s fireworks and that is why you should not mix alcohol and fireworks, kiddies!

There were a few side trips. We took the boys hiking up at Jockey’s Ridge. They had never seen the dunes before and were impressed and excited (briefly) to climb to the top and see the view to the bay. Darren & Kensley took in the Wright Bros. Monument and Museum there was some shopping for fudge, taffy and sundries plus a few alcohol runs.

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Our last beach day looked like it might be a wash out as the clouds gathered and there was a rumbling of thunder.

Soon the clouds parted, the sun was shining and it was time for Spike Ball. The boys attracted some attention with their spirited play (can you say “cutthroat competitors”?) and soon had challenges from on-lookers who never really stood a chance.

The last night consisted of an evening long binge of food and drink as my daughters-in-law cleared out the fridge and cabinets. It started with appetizers like a charcuterie board, buffalo chicken dip, pizzas, chips, pretzels, snack mix and progressed to bbq sandwiches, cole slaw, fajitas which were washed down with various beers, sodas, whisky and moonshine topped off with taffy & fudge.

After hide & seek the moonlight swim must have conjured “the spirits” as the kids tried to exorcise the demons from Steve by putting him in various wrestling holds while he tried to prevent himself from drowning.

The demons were exorcised and we awoke to say our good-byes and wish each other safe travels. Everyone made it home safely despite the holiday traffic and another mountain of memories made it to the books.

There’s something about your youngest getting married that turns the page on a generation. My grandsons were groomsmen and were amazing sentinels who ushered their uncle into his new life. Darren and Kensley were blessed to have the most perfect day and evening for their nuptials. The weather set the perfect stage for a venue that was spectacular in its simplicity and beauty.

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I had very limited knowledge of the part of Virginia’s Northern Neck known as Northumberland County before Darren met Kensley. Kensley’s family are original descendants of Tangier Island. Tangier Island is now on the verge of extinction as it is disappearing into the Bay. A ferry service and charters will transport you there now and depart from the same marina where Kensley’s Dad moors his boat. This was the setting for our festivities.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangier,_Virginia

The family started arriving Friday afternoon in preparation for the rehearsal. The closest hotel to the marina was 25 minutes away in the quaint town of Kilmarnock. The hotel was full as there were numerous events occuring in the area.

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Once everyone was clear as to how the event was set to unfold we enjoyed some pizza, beer and soda together. The kids were skipping stones into the river when my youngest grandson, Dan the Man, lost his athletic slide shoe during his wind up. The shoe was drifting further away from the shore much to the dismay of his father. An all out effort to retrieve the shoe ensued and after it floated closer to one of the docks but still was unreachable, Zachary stripped down and dove in for it becoming the hero of the day.

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We transported the party back to our hotel and sent Zack to the showers while the adults took inventory of the alcohol: 1 bottle of apple pie moonshine, 1 bottle of salted caramel whisky, 1 bottle of Jack Daniels, 8 bottles of wine and assorted beers. Yup, we had enough for the night.

The morning dawned and Eric and Natalie departed for a 5 mile run, the wrestlers hit the gym and the rest of us parked ourselves poolside. We were anticipating the arrival of the rest of the clan (The Marables) later in the afternoon. Darren stopped by between running last minute errands and we all agreed to leave by 4:30 pm so we could be in place for the processional.
It is worth mentioning that Darren’s best man, Tyler, is the brother of Eric’s best man, TJ. Those brothers were the first friends my kids met when we moved to Fauquier County and the friendship between them and our families has endured through all these years.

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Final preparations were taking place when we arrived for the ceremony. Kensley’s family is a talented bunch and what they can’t do themselves, they have a connection to get it done.

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Seats were taken and the ceremony went perfectly. Mr. & Mrs. Russo led the revelers and the party began!

We ate, drank, danced and made merry into the night. There was a cool breeze gently blowing which seemed to keep away any bugs. Kensley’s cousin, our DJ, did a great job and was very accommodating when it became time for a Russo tradition: Drunken Disney Karaoke! Yes folks Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Frozen and Moana came to life as various Russos took up their parts! The highlight was Zachary re-creating his Aladdin role with Eric singing Jasmine’s part on A Whole New World. (It certainly was!)

Reluctantly, it was time to leave as we said good night to the few folks who outstayed us. (#PartylikeaRusso) The Strawberry Moon shone bright over the boats and water and was a perfect end to a perfect day. Congratulations Darren & Kensley!

I am hard pressed to beat the post my son, Eric provided on his fantastic trip to New Zealand. I am anxiously awaiting part 2 when he talks about the southern island. However, knowing the pace at which Eric accomplishes things, I figured I’d fill you in on what the old folks have been up to in the meantime.

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We rented an absolutely grand cabin in Sevierville, Tennessee for our Spring Break trip. Conveniently located to Dollywood and the Pigeon Forge activities as well as Gatlinburg this cabin was up a twisty, turny death-defying road (not unlike my own road) and was sort of suspended off the side of a mountain. This seems to be the norm in this area as all the resort area cabins are precariously perched along the ridges of the hills. This affords picturesque views but made my son, Steve, extremely nervous.

Initially, we were told the cabin had no internet access so we were prepared with books and games to while away any inclement weather or evening hours. To our surprise, when we arrived there were instructions on how to use the wifi and Damian, who obviously never gave up hope, was prepared with his X-Box and immediately converted the downstairs game room. In addition to the huge flat screen equipped with Direct TV there was a full size billiards table, a ping pong table, air hockey and foosball. When we weren’t out and about these amenities provided much fun and entertainment. Of course, I spoke a lot of trash as I beat all the kids in ping pong only to be defeated by Steve, who commented: “I can’t let my 90 year old mother beat me.” Brat.

The mornings dawned chilly but clear and the days warmed up to provide the perfect climate for our outdoor activities. After a hearty breakfast we would venture forth to explore the area.

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Our first stop was the Visitor’s Center. We were able to park free here all day and for $2 each we were able to obtain an all-day pass for the trolley system. The trolley lines are distinguished by colors and they will take you anywhere you desire to go all the way from The Great Smoky National Park to Dollywood. It is a great way to get around and not have to worry about finding a place to park. Kim, the kids and I strolled the main drag in Gatlinburg while Don & Steve did a few whiskey and moonshine tastings. We people watched and strolled in and out of shops. Dan even scored a free bottle of hot sauce when he went into the store and yelled out some slogan they were advertising for their sauces. The weather was perfect for this low cost activity and when we had enough we hopped back onto the trolley to retrieve our cars and headed back to the cabin for dinner.

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Steve had been busy at home preparing for our trip by brewing and bottling up 2 cases of his craft beer. Every 50 ft in town there is a distillery so spirits were also readily available. Thanks to the well stocked kitchen and outdoor grill Don was able to keep everyone well fed.

One of the things high on my list of must dos was a visit to Great Smoky National Park. We set off but discovered that due to some of the areas being closed, parking for the trails I wanted to access was a nightmare! Cars were all over the narrow, winding road as people were parking on any available pavement. It kept us from the trails I planned to hike but we were able to find an alternative. I would not describe Steve, Dan and Zac as ‘outdoorsy’ (they run from bugs and are very hesitant when not on smooth pavement) but I think they enjoyed the experience.

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We had last visited this area about 10 years ago. The last time Steve was here he was about 8 years old. Needless to say, he was surprised at how built up the area has become and how much family-friendly entertainment opportunities there were.

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But of course the highlight of the trip was our day at Dollywood!

If you have never visited this amusement park you should definitely put it on your list. Although they were just getting started up for the season so shows were limited and their water park and new section were not yet open there was still plenty to do and see. The kids loved the roller coasters which were plentiful and I think we all agreed that our favorite was the Lightning Rod. This is a wooden coaster that is unique in 2 ways: First, it launches you up the incline instead of having the traditional chain pull and second, it is the world’s fastest wooden coaster with a peak speed of 73 mph. Steve’s family are thrill ride enthusiasts and Dollywood has plenty to satisfy even Dan, who although the smallest is the craziest of the bunch when it comes to rides. We spent the gorgeous day riding everything, including water rides and even got to take in a very entertaining show. The musical shows are top notch and not to be missed. We brought lunch in a cooler that we stashed in the car and took a quick break for some sandwiches. I understand that there are many top notch food items at Dollywood but when you are feeding the mongol hordes it is economically more friendly to tote in your own. The park closed at 7 p.m. since it’s not regular season yet but we were satisfied with our time there.

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When we returned to the cabin, Nana needed a little tonic to steady her frazzled nerves after a day defying death with my grandsons.

The day of departure we were able to arrange a reunion with some old friends who are now Tennessee retirees. While discussing their early retirement and our ever evolving plans for retirement they extolled us as the the virtues of putting Tennessee on our radar. Don assumed that the proximity to distilleries was a leading factor and was surprised that this did not figure into our friends decision to make the Knoxville area their home.

The long drive home gave us plenty of opportunity for research and discussion and we decided to come back to Tennessee a couple of weeks later and explore for ourselves.

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It was settled! Tennessee here we come! After locating the perfect neighborhood that satisfied our needs we were able to quickly close on what is now known as Rancho Russo of East Tennessee!

Y’all come by and see us now, y’hear!

Kia Ora!

If you’re reading this chances are you know my Mom, Susan, and in some capacity you know me her favorite son – Eric. As a reader of this blog, you’ve seen my parents travel all over the world, leaving me to sit and dream about some day going on a trip of my own. During my daydreaming there was always one place that sat at the top of the list of where I wanted to travel – New Zealand. It’s no secret I am a huge Lord of the Rings fan, I love the outdoors, wine, and Flight of the Conchords. When it was time to pick a honeymoon destination my wife Natalie knew that her best shot of getting me out of the country was to book a flight to New Zealand. This flight consumed almost two days of my life, but it was well worth the effort because we got to spend two weeks in the most beautiful place I have ever been.

TL;DR – For those of you with a short attention span or are just here for the pictures. New Zealand is amazing. The whole country is a photo-op and looks like it was photoshopped because it is unbelievably gorgeous. Meat (veggie) pies, wine, and coffee are amazing. People are super nice. We ate a lot of food, drank a lot of wine, saw a lot of LOTR stuff,  and hiked a ton of spots. If you don’t like wine and outdoors stuff, NZ might not be for you. If you do, it’s heaven.

Waiheke Island and Auckland

We arrived in Auckland at 7 AM and made it through customs without much trouble and we are immediately greeted with a massive dwarven statue from the set of Lord of the Rings and I couldn’t have been happier. We grabbed an Uber to our AirBnB and set out to track down some breakfast and explore Auckland. It took us about thirty seconds to find a cafe. Apparently New Zealanders love their coffee just as much as I do because every five feet in every city there was a small cafe with a barista making espressos. We took the sites in and forced ourselves to stay awake because that evening we had a wine tour booked on Waiheke Island.

Waiheke Island is the third largest island in New Zealand and they are known for amazing beaches, gorgeous scenery, and even better vineyards. We took a 30 min ferry from Auckland to Waiheke where we met our tour guide. On the thirty person passenger bus, there were only seven of us including a couple from Centreville, Virgina. Small numbers on tours are great and we learned that it is even better on wine tours. We walked two vineyards enjoying extra pours of wine, taking in the sites and history of the island. The night was capped with a dinner from the highest point on the island at Thomas Bach Vineyard where we bonded with our group over several bottles of wine and delicious food. After touring New Zealand from point to point I think it is safe to say that if I could pick one place to live, it would Waiheke Island.

The next morning was a very important day for me. It was my Christmas, Superbowl, the reason New Zealand was so high on list…. It was the morning we were going to visit Hobbiton. We met our tour guide before sun had risen and he drove us the two and a half hour trip to the movie set spouting off information about New Zealand the entire way. It was during this trip that I realized just how beautiful every inch of this island was. Around every corner of the drive was a scenic overlook all culminating to pulling into the movie studios parking lot. Our guide, who does this drive multiple times  a week with groups managed to get us into the first tour of the day and we began our trip down into Hobbiton. I could write an entire article on this trip alone from all the interesting movie trivia we learned but I will save you guys and simply say that every inch of Hobbiton is manicured to perfection. There wasn’t a blade of grass or flower out of place. The gardens were marvelous and the beer at the Green Dragon Inn at the end of the tour was the best stout I have ever had. This alone was worth the trip halfway around the world and our day was only half over.

We said goodbye to Hobbiton… some of us more reluctantly than others and continued another two hours to tour one of New Zealand’s glowworm caves. These little bioluminescent worms live in cave ceilings and light up to attract insects to long sticky spindles that hang from their little tunnels at the top of the ceiling. Our tour guide for the cave walk was impressed that I had been to Luray Caverns, which is apparently a very well known set of caverns within the cave dwelling community. We trekked down to cave to the river at the bottom of it and got on a boat to drift underneath where the glowworms nest. Once the cavern is dark enough these little glowing blue bugs fill the ceiling light stars in the night sky. It was a unique experience that is a very popular attraction on the island for good reason.

The last day in Auckland was spent pregaming and then attending a rugby match, another thing we felt that needed to be done while in New Zealand. For those of you that are unaware, New Zealanders love rugby and they are the best at it with back to back world cup titles and the favorites to win the cup again this year. Unfortunately the All Blacks, their national team, weren’t playing while we were in country (do yourself a favor and google All Blacks Haka and watch some of the videos if you want an idea how badass these dudes are) so we got tickets to watch the Auckland Blues take on the Dunedin Highlanders. When we got to the stadium we were a bit shocked at how few people were there and we then learned that the blues were considered the worst of the New Zealand professional teams and were currently on a 20+ game losing streak against New Zealand opponents. Needless to say, the good luck charm that I am brought them their first victory against a NZ team since 2016. You’re welcome. I offered to stay and attend all of their games to ensure future victorys providing they buy me a house but the ticket lady said that was a little above her pay grade to approve… as of writing this article they have lost both games vs NZ opponents… should have hired me.

Rotorua and Lake Taupo

We hit the road bright and early the next morning and started on what was one of our most ambitious days of events. We knew to see and do everything we had to keep moving, something that my fathers forced marches on every vacation prepared me for. Thanks Pops.

First stop was Rotorua where we took in a local farmers market and the hot springs surrounding the national park in the town. We then headed down to Lake Rotorua where we got coffee and went on a walk through town where we bought ourselves a pair of New Zealand jade rings. Seemed like the most appropriate gift since the Maori (indigenous people of New Zealand) used this stone in their decorations and tools and it was our honeymoon. Immediately after this we jumped in the car and went to hike the redwood forest outside of Rotorua. We were approaching midday at this point and still had to drive to our AirBnB in Lake Taupo so we jumped in the car and checked into our house for the night. It was still beautiful outside so we went on a hike at Huka Falls, which was some of the bluest water I have ever seen in my life. We were pretty hungry at this point so we drove to Lake Taupo where we walked the water and selected a place to eat dinner.

Tongario Alpine Crossing or better known as Mordor and Mt. Doom

All of the hiking up to this point were warm up hikes for what we knew awaited us on the fifth day of our visit. The Tongario Alpine Crossing is one of the highest rated hikes in New Zealand, which is saying a lot. It is also the film location of Mordor and Mt. Doom from the Lord of the Rings so of course we were going there.  We knew this hike was going to take all day and had planned for it, what we didn’t plan for or even know was that if you wanted to make complete the crossing from start to finish you needed to book a shuttle to do so. Ooops.

After learning this from a park ranger at the end of the trail where we tried to enter we went to where the tour shuttles were located. After learning that they wanted to charge us $60 for tickets, Natalie and I decided to do what we do best and improvise in the name of being cheap. We drove to the start of the trial and I went and found the ranger at this site. The gentleman working the post was beyond cheerful so I approached him and explained our situation. He informed me that if we kept a good pace we could make it to the summit of the trail and back down to our car in about 5-6 hours. I told him we were hoping to do the whole thing and asked his advice. He told us the back end of the trail was just walking downhill and boring in comparison to the rest of the hike so we wouldn’t be missing much. He suggested hiking to the top, taking our pictures and returning to our car and saving the money.  I pointed to the 4 hour parking sign and he waved his hand and told me it was a slow day, leave my car and enjoy the hike. Pictures do not do this hike justice. Mt. Doom (I forget the actual name of the mountain so I will only refer to it as Mt. Doom) is an active volcano and there are several signs telling you what to do if lava starts flowing. Because of this you can only hike to the summit of the adjacent mountain to a spot called the Red Crater, the site of an eruption that blew the top off the mountain. The start of the hike is through streams, fields of black volcanic rocks, and tiny purple and yellow flowers and unfortunately for us long white clouds that made any views of the mountains impossible. New Zealand is called the Land of the Long White Cloud for very good reasons. It wasn’t the easiest of hikes, but the views from the summit were worth it and then some. On the journey home the clouds had broken up so we got to see all the views that the people who were doing the whole trek missed in the morning. So we saved money and got to see all the best views, win-win.

Windy Wellington

Our last day on the North Island was spent in the capital of New Zealand, Wellington. Wellington is known as the windiest city on the planet which luckily we didn’t experience a lot of. The main reason for going to Wellington was to tour the Weta Workshop. Natalie said something about touring the capital city and culture significant… blah blah blah, but the real reason was for the Weta Workshop. The Weta Workshop is where all the armor, swords, costumes, and digital work was done for, yup you guessed it, The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit Trilogy. They’ve worked on something like 50 other movies, but let’s be honest, that’s not why we were there. The workshop was exactly what you want it to be all the way down to the life size troll out front. The tour was awesome and I instantly hit it off with the tour guide. He was one of the props painters at the studio. I asked him where he got his start and he told me he started off by painting miniatures for a science fiction tabletop strategy game called Warhammer 40,000 and Dungeons and Dragons. For anyone who doesn’t know me that well, these are my two favorite things on planet earth.

I was touring the forges where they made the swords for Lord of the Rings while talking about Warhammer and Dungeons and Dragons. Need I say more?

After the tour was over we went to the Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa which is there national museum. We toured all the exhibits with two standing out above the rest. The first one was about New Zealand’s involvement in WWI that featured the most realistic larger than life statues I have ever seen that were made by the Weta Workshop we had just toured. The second was about the history of New Zealand. How the Maori first arrived and settled the land all the way up to present times. It answered a lot of the questions that had been floating in my head since we arrived. After the museum it was time for wine, dinner, and sleep because in the morning we were settling sail to the next leg of our adventure which will be continued on Part II of this post – South Island.

Happy New Year! Yes, it’s been a while and probably would’ve been even longer but I finally mustered up the courage to tackle this post. This blog is created through WordPress and they recently changed their editing system to something totally unfamiliar to me. Finally, today my resistance was low and after a quick YouTube tutorial I felt confident enough to dive in and get it done. It seems as if the new editor is actually much more user friendly particularly to idiots like me who know nothing about ‘code’ and has her eyes glaze over when I hear things like ‘CSS’.

Why are some of us so resistent to change? Change was a good thing for us this Christmas when we decided to hold our annual Christmas get together with my sister and brother-in-law in a mild climate. Charleston, SC was this year’s destination celebration and it did not disappoint.

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The temperature was in the high 60s-70s while we were there and although it was mostly cloudy the sun did shine one of the days. This was the day we did our scavenger hunt.

The past several years I have become more enamoured of experiential gifts. So this year I bought 5 tickets for a self guided scavenger hunt through Charleston for all of us. I used a site called Let’s Roam to buy the tickets. This will direct you to an app for your phone that you link your tickets to and select the site for your hunt. Typically, there are a few options for each city and you can also add a ‘theme’ like a birthday celebration and then each person selects a character that they will assume during the hunt. They have options for kids, trivia-minded folks, photography lovers and even an ‘observer’ for the one who really doesn’t want to do much. As you negotiate your way to the various big stops each character is given specific individual challenges and the group also gets big challenges. You submit your accumulated information either through photos or via multiple choice selections. The idea is to get as many points as possible.

If you are extremely competitive you must do all challenges. (My sister and I are the worst. I am barking out orders like a German Panzer driver and my sister the director is staging photos with Fellini-esque style.) There was a slight learning curve involved as some our our group (ahem, Darren & Damian) would race to the stop and begin before the rest of us had caught up. There is a time component for when you open the information related to the stop so a few times early in the hunt we lost points because the group wasn’t together to answer. This abruptly ceased after I threw a tantrum and belittled them.

On some of the challenges you may have to recruit the help of unsuspecting people in your immediate vicinity as Dawn & I did when we needed an item of ‘food’. There was a girl eating a donut on the steps of one of the buildings in our stop. Fortunately, we are not shy and quickly explained what we were doing and asked if we could photograph her donut. She was more than happy to comply and we racked up some points.

Another nice feature is that you can pause your hunt. This came in handy when my sister started to get ‘hangry’ in the early afternoon. We were able to make a lunch stop and then resume. It says it covers about 2 miles and a couple of hours but because of our need to succeed we walked at least 10 miles, covered many areas of Charleston we had never seen before on foot and spent the better part of the day engaged in this extremely fun activity. If you have any interest, here’s a link: https://www.letsroam.com/

We would divert when we came across something we wished to explore further like the old historic Market area, the waterfront, Rainbow Row or the gorgeous homes and holiday displays.

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We even got in a little shopping as we would duck in and out of various shops and boutiques. When we completed our hunt we had a sense of accomplishment as our score indicated we did better than 94% of the other teams who’ve attempted this hunt. Of course I pointed out that we would’ve scored higher if we hadn’t made those foolish early mistakes!

Lest you should think that our night life was lacking in Charleston I can assure you that it was stellar. Dawn & Darren always pick some of the best restaurants and even though Charleston is a tough town in which to acquire reservations on relatively short notice they were able to succeed. Several weeks before we are scheduled to arrive somewhere they send me links to restaurants they are considering for our repasts. We settled on Blossom for our first night and the food was excellent! They also surprised us when they too opted for an experiential gift and took us to Peninsula Grill for dinner on our second evening. They even bought Damian a nice shirt as one of his Christmas presents because they assume we are morons who have never dined with them before and are unfamiliar with the caliber of dining establishments they frequent. (For the record, I had packed the kid not 1 but 2 nice shirts.)

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Considering we spent our previous Christmas gathering in Annapolis and the temperatures were in the single digits I think we all agree we much preferred the more mild climate of Charleston. Don has expressed vociferous protests to our proposal of visiting Quebec as next year’s destination pleading instead for a Puerto Rican Christmas. We’ll have to see.

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The indigenous people occupying Puerto Rico when Columbus arrived were a culture whose language similarities suggest they were related to the Arawak (Arhuaco) tribes of South America, specifically those from the Orinoco River delta in eastern Venezuela. They called themselves the “Taino” (meaning: relatives), possibly to distinguish themselves from other Carribean tribes. It was widely thought that the Taino were wiped out from Spanish colonization and it’s accompanying woes of disease and murder. However, the discovery of a 1,000 year old tooth in a Carribean cave led to DNA sequencing and the ability to detect this genetic evidence in modern day populations. The largest amount of Taino DNA today is found in those of Puerto Rican descent. Thanks to the magic of Ancestry.com we discovered that Don’s genetic make up contains Taino DNA. (Why wasn’t this information available to me when my kids were applying to colleges? I would’ve been checking the ‘Native American’ box on every application!) We are headed to the Parque Ceremonial Indigena de Caguana (Caguana Indian Ceremonial Park) to explore what’s referred to as the foremost archeological site in the Carribean.

The park is located in Utuado, a city in the central mountainous area of Puerto Rico. It’s a scenic 1 hr 45 min drive (give or take) from San Juan. It was an area hit particularly hard by Hurrican Maria as one of it’s main bridges was washed away leaving a portion of the citizenry unable to access food or other necessities. They wound up constructing a makeshift zip line to bring in supplies and transport people. When we arrived at the park after a hair-raising ascent up a mountain with a narrow 2-way road and many hairpin turns (Fortunately, the road to Rancho Russo shares most of these traits) we were acquainted with our guide, Michael. Born in Manhattan and a graduate of Bronx High School of Science, Michael decided to move to his ancestral home after serving in the U. S. Army. His grandmother gave him a piece of her land and he built his house by hand under the supervision of his uncle. He lives close by and although most of the locals like him have generators and cisterns for water collection after the hurricane they could not get any gas and what was available was being sold at $20 per liter. They need the generators to power their water filtration systems so potable water became an issue. Power was restored to their community 45 days after the storm. There is still no land line for telephone at the Park. They rely on cell phone service. After our museum visit and tour we sat in a bohio (recreated Taino shade structure) and spoke with Michael for over an hour while he told us the story of how the Park came to be and what challenges face the citizens of Puerto Rico today. He was a delightful conversationalist and we only left because it appeared that the sky was about to open up and unleash a torrential downpour.

The story goes that this land was privately owned and often the owner would go out into the fields and try to plow his farmland. He kept hitting and uncovering rocks that had carvings on them. When the U.S. acquired Puerto Rico after the Spanish American War a team of anthropologists and archeologists was dispatched to conduct a survey in 1914-1915. The scientists were on horseback in the area of Caguana and were talking with the locals and were told that they might be interested in talking to the guy who kept finding these weird rocks in his field. They visited the farmer who agreed to allow them to explore. Initially, Dr John Alden Mason would describe and map his findings but it was years later before serious excavations led to the discovery of 10 intact ceremonial plazas. The Puerto Rican government took over the property in 1957. Today the complex contains a Visitor’s Center, picnic area and the plazas. It is estimated that this site is over 800 years old.

Around the perimeter of the site is a mountain formation called a cemi. It looks like 3 mounds lined up together. It is speculated that the Taino may have considered this geographical feature a representation of their deities related to fertility,healing and communication with the spiritual world and may be why this site was chosen by them. The plazas are ringed by stones containing petroglyphs (prehistoric rock carvings) with the largest plaza containing the largest stones. It is believed that the plazas were actually fields used to play ball. These batayes would see 2 teams compete in a game where they tossed a ball to players who couldn’t let the ball hit the ground. The spaces between the large fields may have been used for ceremonial dances, religious rituals and astronomical observation. It is believed the rocks were from the Tanama River which is adjacent to the site.

The amazing thing is that you can actually touch the stones and it’s like reaching back through time. The place definitely emits an energy that is palpable. (Even Don who thinks all that stuff is nonsense felt it.) The park was just recently named a National Historic Landmark (1993) and for many years vandalism and theft claimed many artifacts. Interestingly, today the Taino decendents are not a federally recognized tribal community so they are not granted any input into maintaining the site as a sacred tribal grounds despite the relatively recent use of DNA to show they are indeed alive & well. Our drive back to San Juan was a rainy one, as the clouds did burst but fortunately we were on the highway when that occured as opposed to the serpentine mountain road we had to negotiate on our descent from the park.

We decided that our last night in Puerto Rico we would spend doing a ‘progressive’ dinner where we would have drinks and appetizers as one establishment then dinner at another and then coffee and dessert at another. Our first stop was a Cuban themed restaurant and while I enjoyed a mojito and an appetizer sampler we had a very interesting discussion with Michael, our server, about his dreams and aspirations being a young person today in Puerto Rico. Michael has no desire to leave Puerto Rico despite the economic woes facing the population today, He is a very personable hustler who works several jobs while completing his on line education. I love talking to the locals.

Our next stop was a burger place unimaginatively named, “The Place”. An interesting choice for me since 1. I don’t usually eat meat & 2. I never eat ground meat out. It was a weeknight and there was a line to get in and the place was packed so naturally we were curious. They were advertising an extended ‘happy hour’ and were serving $2 Coronas so we figured we’d a least grab a couple of those. They obviously were not expecting this sized crowd as it took a while for our server, Will, to get over to us. I asked him was The Place always this crowded on a Thursday night? He informed me that they were hosting some type of fundraiser for a local school (the place was full of families with middle school aged kids and younger). He then correctly assumed that we had never been there before and gave us the low down about the restaurant which has an extensive menu but the build your own burger thing is like their speciality. (A scan of the neighboring tables did show us some excellent looking burgers.) As a wise friend once pointed out to me when I ordered fish in a rib joint and got food poisoning, “When you’re in a rib joint, order ribs. When you’re in a steak joint, order steak.” I now live by this rule so we ordered burgers. They were massive, juicy and delicious. (Note to self: When you don’t normally eat meat, especially greasy hamburger, and you will be spending a large portion of time the next day confined to airports and airplanes you should probably order a salad.)

We were so full after our brews and burgers that our progressive dinner came to a halt. Fortunately, we had a lovely walk on a sultry night to head back to our hotel where we concluded the evening by making yet another donation to the casino. The next day, which was our departure day, we were able to have an extended check out which afforded us only 2 hours before our car was coming to take us to the airport. We did a little last minute shopping and then as we vacated our room we decided to head to the beachside restaurant to have lunch. It was extremely windy but sunny as a tropical storm was expected to pass by the southern portion of the island the next day. A quick check of the flight status revealed that there were no problems as we were departing from the northern side of the island. Every one of the locals we encountered in Puerto Rico wanted to make it very clear that tourism in Puerto Rico is very much open for business and they look forward to your arrival.

We deferred our usual Summer beach visit this year knowing that we were heading to Puerto Rico. For me, it’s just not summer if I’m not laying in sand somewhere and frollicking in the waves. The area of San Juan where we are headquarted is a resort area called, Condado. Each morning we rise and troop across the street to the Starbucks for our coffee. (I save the Starbucks gift cards we inevitably receive throughout the year for just these occassions.) I try to save my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season for when I am either in an airport or at a travel destination. Pumpkin Spice is not so popular on Puerto Rico and their coffee industry took a major hit with Hurricane Maria. None the less, Puerto Rican coffee is delicious and we would order it at every opportunity. We would then usually stroll around the neighborhood before heading off for the day. There is still a significant amount of repair going on in Condado which is know for it’s beaches, shopping, casinos and night life.

Our hotel has a pool, hot tub, bar, restaurant complex that overlooks the beach and then there is a walkway that takes you down to the sand where they set up lounge chairs and umbrellas for you when you arrive. The wait staff from the restaurant will even come down, take your order and bring your food and beverages right to you. All beaches in Puerto Rico, even the areas immediately in front of the hotels are public.

The problem is that our area of beach is notorious for rough surf and riptides. In fact, several drownings have occurred in the area. There are no life guards and every day we were there the red flags were out. Nice for sitting surfside and gazing at the water but not nice for me to relax and float. I need a better beach. There is one a little further down the road from us and we decide to check it out on our walk to Old San Juan.

 

There’s a reef formation that surrounds this beach which seems to keep the waters pretty calm. It’s also ringed by hotels so it’s not too windy. While tucked into an urban area, it’s not my vision of swaying palm trees and crystal blue water. We decide to rent a car for a couple of days and plot a course that will let us hit the rain forest and a couple of well known beach towns.

In the Luquillo Mountains of Northeastern Puerto Rico lies the only tropical rain forest in the U.S. Forest Service system. El Yunque National Forest was decimated by Hurricane Maria and over a year later there are still only 3 very limited areas of access available to visitors. Under hurricane conditions, large branch breakage and defoliation occurs at 60 mph, weaker tree trunks snap at about 70 mph. It is estimated that sustained winds in excess of 140 mph hit this region. (The weather station that was located there has not been found yet and the odds of it being intact are slim.) A lush, verdant area became an impassable quagmire of brown detritus. As we snake our way up to the viewing point of one of the water falls we pass numerous work crews. Some roads have cavernous pot holes and the threat of landslides closes almost all of the hiking trails.

For some strange reason, our GPS navigation app takes us on a detour through a small housing development located just before you enter the Forest. It is our first up close look at what I would call country living in Puerto Rico. The homes are mostly 1 or 2 levels that are very low profile and made of concrete with flat, concrete roofs. Some have water collection tanks on top. Most windows have venetian-blind type shutters and most interestingly many have the doors, porches and property encased in wrought iron gates.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We finally arrive at the viewing point for the La Coca Falls.

We pass a few other small falls on the drive but are kind of disappointed because you used to be able to hike down to the bottom of La Coca and swim in the pool it creates.

Our next stop is the Yokahu Observation Tower. A climb up provides you with some nice panoramic views of the forest and coast.

In April a team of scientists from NASA with specialized intruments flew over El Yunque to document and monitor the forest’s response. No doubt the cards here will be reshuffled and some species will thrive and some may fight to survive. Time will tell and hurricanes have been hitting here since before the indigenous peoples began drawing references to them. Obviously, there is still much work to be done.

Our next destination is Balneario Monserrate, more commonly known as Loquillo Beach. Public beaches with lifeguards and facilities like bathrooms, lockers, showers and food are known as balnearios and most are operated by the Puerto Rican National Parks company. You pay for parking and another small fee gets you a bracelet that gives you access to the facilites. This beach is a short drive from El Yunque. Another interesting thing about driving in Puerto Rico (which is very much like driving in the Bronx) is that tolls are ubiquitous and there are no cash lanes. Your rental car comes equipped with some kind of mechanism for keeping track of your tolls. You just drive right through the toll lanes. We encountered only 1 person who did not speak any English. Most folks we encountered were fluent but some spoke enough for us understand. I always initially spoke Spanish (my bad version, which very much impressed Don) and most took pity on me and immediately responded in English. When we arrived at Loquillo, I found MY beach.

The water was placid, bath-like and very blue. The beach has views of the mountains in the distance that just enhances it’s overall appeal. It was a weekday and we practically had the place to ourselves. After a significant amount of time spent enjoying the ocean we ventured over to the snack shack for a little lunch. Don was sporting his ‘geezer hat’, which is how I refer to his USS John F. Kennedy CVA-67 cap. It is emblazoned with all his little Navy pins and trinkets. We decided on some meat pies that they were making fresh and a couple of Coronas. There was a young couple in front of us waiting for their order. The young man thanked Don for his military service and shook his hand. I placed our order, in Spanish and the woman behind the counter asked me a question and I had no idea what she wanted to know. I responded that I didn’t understand and the young man told me, “She wants to know if it’s for here or to go.” I thanked him for his rescue and told the woman it was for here. She told me the price and then the young man spoke to her in Spanish. He told her he was going to pay for it. This lovely young couple bought our lunch. We chatted with them a little longer, them asking how we were enjoying Puerto Rico so far (very much!) and us relaying our exploits to date. After lunch we headed back for some toes in the water, ass in the sand time. Then we decided to pack up and check out our next beach stop.

Fajardo is known for it’s diving, snorkeling, water sports, pleasure boating and famous bioluminescent bay. The casino at the El Conquistador Resort was where they filmed part of the James Bond classic, Goldfinger. The trade winds that blow here coupled with an off-shore coral reef provide the environment for all these fun activities. Today we are headed to the Balneario Seven Seas. This is a crescent sliver of beach that has a nice amount of natural shade owed to the almond and palm trees. It was a bit breezier than Loquillo and the sand has more natural debris in it. There was a fair amount of trash too. There is also a rock ridge running across part of where the ocean meets the shore. We observed what the locals were doing and where they were congregating and heading into the water then located ourselves accordingly. When we arrived it was later in the day and it seems like people were arriving with their kids after school. There were also dogs on this beach where the signs at Loquillo said, “no pets.” The water was still warm and blue but had a little bit more of a wave to it due to the trade winds. Still a lovely place but if I had to pick, I’d say I liked Loquillo more.

We swam, we basked, we walked and when we had enough sun (it is very strong and despite sun screen we were getting burned) we headed back to Condado. Back at the Marriott we showered then headed down for a drink before having dinner at a close-by establishment. We topped off the night by making a donation at the casino.

Next: The foremost archeological site in the Carribean

In 1493 during his second voyage to the New World Christopher Columbus landed on the island of Puerto Rico. The native inhabitants, called the Taino, were a peaceful people and showed Columbus their abundant natural resources including gold found in the rivers. It wasn’t long before these resources and the island’s critical location as the first stop entering the New World along the European sea routes made Puerto Rico the most important military outpost possessed by Spain in the Carribean. In 1505 the first planning stages for a fort began and official colonization was led by Ponce de Leon in 1508. In 1513 African slaves were introduced to the island. The Tainos and the Africans provided the slave labor force that created the new colony. The Spanish colonists were all male and in 1514 the Spanish Crown granted permission for the colonists to marry native Taino women.

 

Our day started when we decided to walk from our hotel in the Condado area to Old San Juan. Despite the quizzical looks from the concierge at the Marriott (it’s a long walk) he told us it’s a picturesque hike along a road that hugs the coastline. Our destination was the San Juan National Historic site. This is a UNESCO World Heritage Site (we are suckers for those) consisting of 2 Forts, the old city wall and what is currently the governor’s residence. We get a little turned around on our stroll and I enlist the help of some lovely women who just finished their outside zumba class in one of the parks. Between my bad Spanish and their bad English we are soon headed in the right direction once again.

There’s a nice breeze but it’s still in the 90’s and humid and soon my sweating feet are sliding around in my Skechers creating blisters on my heels. The moleskin I applied as a preventative action is now falling off. I stop to try to salvage it as best I can. We are not too far from San Cristobal which is our first stop. I limp into the Visitor’s Center (air conditioned!) and we encounter the lovely Mrs. Gonzalez who is impressed that Don actually has his Senior Pass to the National Parks with him. (Apparently all the cruise ship tourists forget it.) We wind up talking to her for like 30 minutes as she gives us the low down on how to make the most of our day in Old San Juan including a great tip on a lunch restaurant that is truly a local establishment. We browse the exhibits in the visitor’s center then finally we grab our map and venture off into the Fort complex which is a series of defenses designed to support each other should invaders penetrate the outer, lower areas. Complete with tunnels, a dungeon and spectacular views of the city it is definitely a worthy exploration.

Don hikes back down to the gift shop and gets me a package of bandaids which I apply to my ailing tootsies and we are back out on the road hoofing it through the streets to our lunch destination.

We find “El Jibarito” restaurant (loosely translated by Mrs. Gonzalez as, “The Hillbilly”) and enter. We are warmly greeted by the hostess who immediately welcomes us in English. (Funny, the locals take one look at us and must say, “Ah, Gringo!”) We are seated and handed a menu. One of the great things about Puerto Rico is that rum is readily available. They sell it everywhere in delicious smoothie-like concoctions made with local, fresh fruit. I order one with mango and Don gets a local beer. Mrs. Gonzalez has already sold us on what to order. They offer what is called the “Christmas Platter” which is loaded with all the goodies normally only made around Christmas time by your Puerto Rican grandmother. There’s a tamale-like offering made from mashed plantain seasoned and stuffed with a pork mixture then wrapped in banana leaf and boiled, yellow rice, fried sweet plantain and cubes of pork in a gravy. Extremely filling (no wonder it’s only made at Christmas!) and delicious. Local families are arriving and greeted by name. Mrs. Gonzalez assures us that this is a working class neighborhood and the establishment is a local treasure. I am now ready for a siesta but we must continue our trek to El Morro.

The western side of San Juan is the high ground. When we finish our tour of the second fort, El Morro. We tromp down the side streets winding our way through the narrow cobblestones. We visit shops and galleries and pass museums, parks and plazas as we eventually find our way to the old city wall and La Fortaleza. Many of the streets have the original blue cobblestones. Iron slag was used as ballast in European merchant ships in the 1800s and this was used to make the cobblestones. They are gradually replacing the stones (the streets are quite irregular) and unfortunately function will overrule beauty. We spend time chatting with the shopkeepers and artists including one very interesting lady who fashions rosary beads and jewelry out of larimar. This is a blue stone that is only found in the Carribean Sea. She sent a set of rosary beads to both President Trump and First Lady Melania and received a letter from him in return which she is happy to show you.

La Fortaleza has served as an aresnal, a prison, a fortress and is currently the home of the Governor of Puerto Rico. We walked through the San Juan Gate in the original old city wall that surrounded San Juan. There’s a trail that hugs the shoreline and provides beautiful night time views across the bay. Then we strolled Paseo de la Princessa and saw the statue Fuente Raices which is a representation of the roots of Puerto Rican culture: Tainos, Spaniards and Africans. This was fitting because we had dinner at the nearby restaurant called “Raices” and indulged in more Puerto Rican food: mofongo with shrimp for me and Kan Kan porkchop for Don (delicious) washed down with a few local beers.

 

We logged over 10 miles that day and our FitBits were happy. My feet were not as I had to replace my bandaids several times. I would resort to sandals for the rest of our trip. We decided to reward ourselves with a cab ride back to Condado. We had a Dominican transplant for our cabdriver and he treated us by blasting his music and singing along loudly while dance/driving in his seat. All in all it was a great day in Old San Juan.

Next: Rain Forest & Beaches

After barely having time to recover from Eric & Natalie’s wedding we forge ahead in celebrating the nuptials of T.J. & Karen Marable. T.J. is our son from another mother (& father), our first Fauquier friends, Tom & Cindy. He was the best man at Eric’s wedding and now Eric is returning the favor along with Don who is the officiant.

While Eric’s wedding was a small, intimate affair of 50 people, T.J.’s wedding was a fiesta topping 230 guests held in the shadow of Massanutten Mountain (site of the proposal) at Cross Keys Barn.

The festivities started with the rehearsal dinner on Friday evening where I narrowly escaped with my life after a bizarre pinata accident. Yup, the wooden bat broke and the ensuing projectile hit me (out of a huge crowd) square in the face. Fortunately, it slammed into my glasses on a direct horizontal path and resulted (amazingly) in no damage whatsoever to my face or glasses!

The kiddies in attendance swarmed in to collect the contents of the pinata only for us to later realize that some of the goodies were those little liquor filled chocolates. We proceeded to confiscate the contraband from the kids and averted a bunch of drunken kids (& a probable CPS report).

 

 

 

Although it was a tight fit in the barn, tables were called to the buffet individually which made for an orderly dinner and lots of good tequilla and music made for fluid movement between the dance floor and outdoor bars. Of course there were the obligatory intermittant sprinkles of rain that had permeated both weddings but didn’t dampen spirits. Shuttle transportation that was provided between the condos & hotels let everyone enjoy to the max. The next day we departed for home to retrieve our bags and head up to our hotel in Baltimore to facilitate our 6:30 a.m. boarding time for our flight to Puerto Rico.

Next time: Old San Juan

Timeline: Six Months Ago

Me to my son: “So, what’s your rain plan?”
(A wedding is planned at a lovely outdoor venue.)

My son to me: “Uh, we get wet?”
(He comes by his obnoxious sarcasm honestly.)

Timeline: Six Days Ago

Me to my son: “So, what’s your hurricane plan?”
My son to me: “Sacrifice to the gods?”

 

What happens when your wedding vision is Bilbo Baggin’s 111 Birthday Party meets A Midsummer Night’s Dream and a Category 3 hurricane wants to crash the party?

 

Here is that story:

I can’t begin to do justice to the monumental amount of time, energy, creativity, physical labor and love that went into the planning and execution of this event. The Pardo family, spearheaded by Natalie’s oldest sister Chris are an amazingly talented collection of artists whose vision and efforts created the magic that transformed Greenock Manor in Orange, Virginia into The Shire. Family and friends pitched in their individual talents: construction skills for building the bar & dessert table; electrical troubleshooting when strings of lights were malfunctioning; suspending the hoops from the top of the tentpoles then hand placing the greenery, flowers and glass globes with the twinkly lights; hand-making all the bouquets & boutonnieres (how I got involved in that task I’ll never know!); assembly of the centerpieces which were hand filled with 2 types of live moss, fresh cut flowers, greenery & lavender; creating the tree stump walkway to the tent when each stump had different lit lanterns and strings of lights were strung overhead in the trees with a perimeter of whiskey barrels also with lanterns placed on top making an illuminated walkway (most helpful after dark); each table was set with linens and china; wood burning the elvish script lettering into the table signs & beer kegs; installation of the dance floor; flowers & greenery were inserted into the ceremony archway and then wrapped in fabric (this is just the stuff that went on outside). Inside the manor house food was prepared for the non-rehearsal dinner and pre-event luncheon; gift table and hors d’ouveres tables were set and decorated; guest sign-in was a photo booth that provided polaroids to be inserted into the guest book; fresh flowers were artfully arranged throughout the house. The spread sheet that was utilized for task delegation, completion and timeline was a work of archetectural genius masterminded by Chris.

The uniform of the day was ‘rain boots’ and those of us who had them were truly grateful that we did.

A glimpse of the Master Checklist:

By the end of Day 1 everyone was sweaty, soaked, dirty and covered in mosquito bites. Some weddings release doves, we had mosquitos. They laughed at us as we applied bug spray that was brought in by the pallet. Now it was time for the non-rehearsal dinner. I believe the intention was to rehearse, however once 2 enormous Tupperware tubs full of beer and all the wine that was supposed to be for the wedding was consumed there was not much interest in rehearsing shown by the members of the bridal party.

 

The town of Orange has a noise ordinance that basically says no loudness outside after 11:00 pm so things move inside and around midnight folks are settling down (that would be me). Things are still in full swing downstairs like piano playing and Disney musical sing-a-longs. Guests who are not staying at the Manor House stagger their way across the street to various hotels and inns. Some tote black plastic contractor bags full of beer with them. Our lovely innkeeper, Chanel, announces that she is now locking down the property and she exits.

What nobody realizes is that Don & Steve (my oldest son) have walked down to the gas station in search of more beer (mistake) but decided to indulge in a few gas station chili dogs while there. Arms full of beer, they return to the house only to discover that they cannot enter. They try calling anyone who’s number they have at the Manor House. No one answers.

What to do? What to do? They stagger across to the hotel where the kids have been bedded down, drop all their beer on the front desk and begin the attempt at having the desk manager give them a key to the kid’s room. Fortunately, Steve was at the original check in (the kid’s room is in my name) and around 3:00 am they are finally able to get off the streets of Orange where it’s only a matter of time before they get locked up for public drunkenness.

Around 7:30 am Don enters my room. “Didn’t you wonder where I was?” he asked. “Nope.” I replied. He decides to join me for breakfast before heading off to bed. He informs me that when he left Steve, he was alive. Unfortunately, now Kim has not only the kids but her husband to care for this morning. I head down to the tent to assist with final set up which is scheduled to end at 12:30 pm when the guys depart for the hotel to begin their preparations and the girls dress at the Manor. Photographer is scheduled to arrive at 3:00 pm, guests at 4:00 pm & ceremony at 4:30 pm (weather permitting).
It seems decidedly more dry out today. (At least to me) There’s still a bunch of work going on at the tent. The tables are being set after the centerpieces are finished. Dessert table looks great, bar is stocked, now dance floor being cleared and cleaned, dry dirt and cedar bedding applied to keep the ground dry. Outside the chairs are being wiped off and a radar check shows we seem to show dry skies from now until around the time of the ceremony. Fingers crossed! I head back to my room after grabbing a sandwich from the luncheon set up. I have about 2 hours to shower, do hair & make up and dress. Don is over at the hotel bringing lunch to Steve and the kids. I decide to take 20 minutes to pray and meditate.
Don arrives while I’m putting on my face. He zips my dress for me and ensures that my spanx aren’t failing me by leaving any unsightly lumps. Last minute check of each other. This is as good as it’s going to get.

 

 

Meanwhile, downstairs the guys have arrived and are trying to figure out how to put on a boutonniere.

The photographer is underway with the First Look photos and we decide to head out to the deck.

We notice some sunlight shining down on the alter and some small patches of blue in the sky! Hurry up!
The announcement is made for the guests to be seated and we are told to line up for the processional.

Our officiant, the honorable Jake, is now regretting not having a rehearsal. Not to fear, he nails it.

 

The first raindrops started almost immediately. The guests headed down to the cocktail hour and we headed off with the photographer. It wasn’t long before we were joining in the festivities. I did keep my ‘cute shoes’ on until after the Mother & Son dance (“Come Rain or Come Shine” by B.B.King & Eric Clapton) but then traded them for the new pair of Toms that Natalie & Eric gave me for my birthday which were then traded for my Pink rain boots when the ground behind our seats started getting muddy from the intermittant downpours. However, there was no raining on this parade despite many abandoning shoes altogether and several slips and slides in the mud for some.

Devon Lee did an outstanding job with the catering because it isn’t easy trying to provide for a horde of hobbit-sized appetites.

Then there was the bar.
I know that there were 2 types of beer on tap. I know that there were several wine choices. I know there was whiskey.
Then there was this:

What I know is that Natalie’s Aunt is somehow responsible for this stuff now being available in the U.S.A.
It is used in making Natalie’s ‘signature cocktail’ which contains this Unholy Grape, ginger ale & lime juice.
It is magnificent stuff but must be consumed carefully by professional drinkers only.
Most of those in attendance were not professional drinkers.

As in most types of affairs, the dance floor starts off with a few brave souls. The dance floor occupation is proportional to the liquor consumption. More drinking, more dancing. This crowd was brought to their feet initially by 2 music genres: Country & Latin American. After loosening up with those we flowed through oldies, pop and then we proceeded to the drunk sing-a-long/dance-a-long stage with such classics as:

Dropkick Murphys, “Kiss Me I’m Shitfaced”
Disney’s, “Gaston”
Don McLean’s, “American Pie”
Old Crow Medicine Show’s, “Wagon Wheel”
Journey’s, “Don’t Stop Believin'”
Queen’s, “Bohemian Rhapsody” & “Under Pressure” to name a few. . .

It’s all fun & games until you hear, “Last Call!” from the bartender. People were returning from their ‘last call’ with entire bottles of alcohol. To be honest, I consumed more liquor in a shorter amount of time after ‘last call’ was announced than I did all evening long. That was because the youngsters (read: non-professional drinkers) thought it was time for shots with “Mama Russo”!
Noise ordinance is now in effect. The kids are still pretty noisey.
The next morning they are decidely more subdued while guzzling gatorade & Advil. It is time to strike the set and go about the tasks of a life together. Congratulations to Natalie & Eric. We love you both immeasurably❣