TSA Pre check not all it’s cracked up to be.
Why should I be surprised by a baggage check at Dulles airport? We were all given the TSA pre check authorization. If you are unaware, you can apply to be a trusted traveler and avoid the body scanner and pulling your little ziploc baggie out of your carry-on bag. We happily proceeded through the pre check line until my carry-on took longer than expected to clear the scanner. The TSA agent then informed me, “Mam, we need to open your bag. Do you have anything sharp or flammable in there?” My mind started to race. What the hell did I put in there that was a problem? OHHH! It must be the glow in the dark bracelets and necklaces I purchased at the dollar store for Damian to avoid having to pay ridiculous Disney prices. As the agent pawed through my luggage with purpose, it became apparent that he was looking for something specific. He dug through and uncovered the pill container I had used to store quarters and pennies for the pressed penny machines they have throughout the Disney parks. He opened the container and spread the coins in his hand. I offered an explanation for the item. He said that the scanner didn’t like the container. My underwear was shoved back into the bag and I was cleared to go.
This single incident would set the tone for what was about to become the most complicated trip we have undertaken in quite some time. Let me go back to approximately 5 days before our departure. It’s dinner time and that’s when our telephone usually starts ringing with the telemarketers and surveyors. The phone rings and it’s Don’s rewards card company. It seems that someone in Brazil has decided to go on a shopping spree with Don’s credit card number to the tune of $4,000.
It’s carnivale time in Brazil!
The card gets canceled and a new card must be re-issued. They promise it will arrive before we are scheduled to depart because Don wants to use the card so he can get mucho points that he will redeem in the future for hotel rooms. The new card arrives and we are good to go. We have an uneventful flight to Orlando and Damian enjoys the plane ride. (The last time he was on a plane he was 2 years old and we flew to Reno, NV. He has no memory of this trip.)
All systems go.
Intrepid travelers are not impressed by airports.
I am so concerned that Damian leaves the plane with all his belongings: Nintendo 3DS, Kindle, movies, video games, earphones, etc. That I completely forget that I stowed my own kindle fire HD in the seat pocket. It won’t be until many hours later that I realize that I have lost my best friend.
Upon landing in Orlando we head to the rental car agency, which is located away from the airport. We shuttle over and Don begins the process of the paper work. It seems there is a problem. The credit card Don used to book the rental car is the one that got stolen. There is a new account associated with that card now. It’s not the same number that was used to book the car initially. So, the rental agent informs us that she cannot process that rental and now we will have to rent a larger car. Don is not happy that it’s going to cost him another $35. After much unsuccessful negotiating, we pick up our car and head to the resort.
The place ain’t half bad.
Our room has all the amenities we have requested. The place has 7 pools. 3 of them are open 24 hours (in case you just must have that 4 a.m. swim?) and the rest are open until midnight. It also has a water park and beach where you can rent paddle boats and bouncy things that you can float out into the middle of the lake and dive off. We obtain a schedule for the shuttle that will transport us to the Disney parks and then we take off for some grub and a visit to the in-laws.
Chuy’s Tex-Mex restaurant.
The in-laws inform us that there has been an alligator hanging out in their lake and suggest we go down to the dock to see the sunset and possibly spot the gator. Damian is all for it so we head off to the water.
Damian in search of gator.
The gator is nowhere to be found and we head back to the resort to retire because the next day we are meeting up with Don’s friend, Alice. They have been friends since Don was 10 years old. Alice is also a nurse and the next day is a very relaxing day spent poolside at the resort. Don & Alice catch up and Damian & I enjoy the pool. There’s a D.J. and they are playing games poolside. The weather is sunny and hot. We end up the day back at Alice’s house (which is for sale and beautiful so if anyone is considering moving to Davenport, FL let me know). Since it is now evening we decide to head off to Downtown Disney (another area to spend money with lots of shops and restaurants). We give Don’s parents a shout and ask them to meet us there. Downtown Disney is hopping with tons of outdoor entertainment. It’s a beautiful night and we take in the sights.
Robot statuary.
A beautiful night.
Dining with dinosaurs.
Under the full moon.
After a lovely night we drive back to our resort. The only problem is my Google Maps directions take us to one of the 3,000 toll roads in the greater Orlando area. We arrive at an unattended toll booth. The toll is 75 cents and we have absolutely no change. (I left the quarters back in my luggage at the resort.) If it was one of our cars we could be sure that we would be able to scrounge some loose coinage between the seats or on the floor of the vehicle. Not so with the immaculately clean rental car. We have to take an envelope from the toll booth in which we are to deposit a check or money order in the said amount of 75 cents within 10 days or face a $100 fine. Don is livid. We arrive back at our room hoping to get a good night’s sleep because the next day is Epcot & Magic Kingdom. Don’s back is now seizing up on him and he spends the night sleeping on the floor with his legs up on a coffee table. We pray the medication he took will help him because we are planning to board the shuttle at 7:30 a.m. and return at 12:30 p.m.
Second in line at Epcot.
Thanks to the miracle of modern pharmaceuticals Don is AOK in the morning and we march through Epcot like Sherman through Georgia.
Japanese drum exhibition.
3 coins in the fountain? No, I left them home.
Damian rubbing a container of sorbet on his face. (The boy is not hearty.)
I have a picture of his father in the same spot.
As evening approaches we park hop over to Magic Kingdom. Epcot was relatively empty but Magic Kingdom is rockin’. The crowds are vast and we find our way to the fast pass kiosk to see what we can score. (You can only pre-select 3 fast passes for 1 park per day then you have to choose one at a time in your subsequent park.) We hit as many as we can and save a remaining fast pass for Space Mountain.
Damian driving solo with us in the car in front of him.
My favorite shot – with Cinderella’s castle in the background.
At about 7:30 p.m. I felt the first drops. The sky was very ominous so we each pulled out a dollar store poncho and donned it. Then the the monsoon hit. The rain was falling in sheets and the streets were quickly full of lake-sized puddles. The outside rides closed down and they cancelled both Electric Parades. It did slow down enough for Celebrate The Magic & Wishes to go off on time. One moron had his kid on his shoulders and opened his umbrella on top of them. I thought someone (maybe Don) was going to kill him. A few words from those 4,000 people behind him and that umbrella came down quickly. Our original plan was to catch the second shuttle back at 12:30 a.m. but the weather put a damper on that plan and we left on the 11:00 p.m. instead. Space Mountain was closed due to “technical difficulties” so we never did get there.
Sound asleep on the shuttle.
We now have 2 recuperation days before we tackle Animal Kingdom & Hollywood Studios. You’d think we would decide to sit poolside and rest, right? No way! We drive up the coast a little south of Daytona to visit Don’s sister Brenda and her husband Dan. Along the way we plan to spend several hours at New Smyrna beach. The lady at the visitor’s center was most helpful telling us which public access would be best for us, where the showers and bathrooms were located and which restaurants were good choices for lunch. She even gave Damian a beach ball.
We had a great lunch at a restaurant called, Norwood’s. This establishment has been in operation since 1946. It’s fresh seafood, wine shop and the super cool treehouse bar make it an inviting destination. Our server, Lisa was spectacular and provided us with history and suggestions for lunch.
Under the treehouse bar at Norwood’s.
Lunch at Norwood’s.
After lunch we found Brenda & Dan’s place which is located right off the Indian River. We saw dolphins and sailboats cruising by as we watched from the pier. Later that night, Dan had us laughing hysterically when he told us stories of his days on the farm and the stupid things cows will do. (Brenda & Dan owned a 500 acre dairy farm in upstate NY.) Finally, we had to say goodbye because we planned to spend the next day relaxing with Don’s parents. About a half hour into our return drive Don realized that he had left his cellphone at his sister’s house. Brenda & Dan graciously agreed to meet us so we didn’t have to drive all the way back to their home. Still, it took us over 2 hours to get back to our room. At least this time there were no tolls.
The next day dawns and we are slated to meet Don’s folks for lunch. I take a quick trip over to the Disney Character Warehouse and pick up a couple of super cheap (and ugly) Disney pins for Damian’s lanyard. Don’s parents, RoseMarie & Bill Volpone (Masters of the Universe) take us out for a leisurely, lovely lunch. We plan to return to their place and hit the pool for a while and then it will be karaoke & dinner at the Elks Club. My Mother-in-law usually also introduces me to some unique shopping secret she has discovered since our last visit. This time she informs me of a place she has found that sells earrings super cheap ($1.00 per pair). Off we go!
We pull into an industrial area that looks abandoned and pretty sketchy. All I see are piles of cargo containers in rows. I think my in-laws have gone off the deep end. The place looks like where you’d hide kidnapped people you are planning to human traffic with.
I fear that I will never be heard from again.
The in-laws reassure me that it’s all on the up & up. We pick our way over to one pile of cars and tucked in between the rows is a long trailer-like building with signs on the door informing you that purses or bags are prohibited. Don whispers to me that he is fearful that leaving our handbags in the car will result in smashed windows and stolen purses. I relay my fear of ending up shackled in one of the cargo containers. None the less, we enter the place and find about 4 little Asian women intently stringing beads (or some activity that resembles that). They nod to us and my Mother-in-law takes me into a back room that is full of costume jewelry and jewelry-making supplies! Earrings, necklaces, bracelets, rings, baubles and beads, finishings. . . you name it. All at incredible prices! RoseMarie informs me that on her last trip she bought 18 pairs of earrings. I’ve died and gone to jewelry heaven!
Baubles, bangles & beads!
I could’ve spent the day there but Don starts complaining and Bill is sitting inside his van with the motor running so we complete our transactions with the Asian ladies and surprisingly, we leave there intact.
We arrive at Villa Volpone and quickly change into our bathing suits to head for the pool. Don hits the hot tub immediately while Damian & I go into the pool. RoseMarie has some friends there and we all start chatting together. Suddenly, we hear this big splash and we look over and see that Don has entered the pool. He stays briefly then heads back out to the hot tub. The time then approaches when we need to leave so that we can get dressed and ready for karaoke. We head back to the car and Don mentions that he hit his arm in the pool and it’s hurting. He holds up his left wing to show me and about 4 inches above his elbow on his left forearm is a lump the size of a goose egg over his ulna (the smaller of the 2 forearm bones)! It’s so swollen that he’s already having numbness in his fingers and although he can move it, I decide we are not taking any chances so it’s off to the ER. Under much protestation, he acquiesces when I remind him that the next day will be spent tromping through the 2 remaining Disney parks for another 13 hours or so.
Approximately what it looks like 4 days later.
We wind up in the ER of the hospital where Alice works. We text her informing her of our arrival and she meets us in the waiting room. Osceola Regional Medical Center is an HCA run facility and it was very efficient at getting us in and out in a reasonable amount of time. Everyone we encountered was very pleasant and friendly. Don’s arm was not broken. Armed with a few prescriptions that we were unable to fill due to the fact that we couldn’t find a 24 hr pharmacy in reasonable proximity to where we were staying, we head back to our room where Don spends the night with his arm elevated and packed in ice.
Amazingly, the next morning the swelling has subsided considerably and he has some feeling back in his fingers. This time we opt to drive to the parks as the shuttle schedule for those 2 parks doesn’t accommodate our needs. We arrive at Animal Kingdom just as the gates open and we have our 3 fast passes early: Expedition Everest, the Safari & Kali River Rapids. We blow through these boom, boom, boom and except for the fact that I got sopping, wringing out wet – all went well. We saw tons of animals which delighted Damian. It was a relatively cool morning for Florida in June so there was a lot of animal activity. We stayed here almost until closing and then hopped off to Hollywood Studios.
Performance artist “Divine”. She blends into the scenery and creeps along Animal Kingdom. Super cool.
In front of Everest.
Silver back gorilla.
Donald giving Damian a hard time for asking him to autograph his Mickey Mouse hat.
All is forgiven when Donald sees Don’s Navy veteran hat.
At Hollywood Studios we do pretty well considering it’s late in the day and we have limited fast pass availability. We decide to suck it up and head straight for Tower of Terror. The line moves quickly and Damian is definitely skeptical about this ride. Of course once it’s over he loved it. Don rewards him for his bravery with a new pin. He has made a few wise pin trades today with cast members and has significantly upgraded his starter collection. The only place we really bog down is at Toy Story Mania and we spend our longest wait in all 4 parks at this ride.
Christmas in June
Outside of Star Wars Tours.
I didn’t have much time for picture taking at Hollywood as we were rushing to get through the big rides. The crowds at the rides decreased during the early showing of Fantasmic and since we planned to do the 10:30 p.m. show it all worked out in our favor. At Star Wars Tours we ran into a bunch of young adults who had spent the entire day on this one ride. It seems there are numerous different sequences of this ride and they wanted to experience every variation. They spoke in total Star Wars Geekspeak about minutiae relating to each and every sequence. They were all so excited! I enjoyed them. Don just rolled his eyes. We got a little lost after Star Wars and wandered into the now empty back lots area. Finally, we found our way back to Fantasmic and ended our night with that spectacular show. ( A brief note: I tried to see as many shows as possible and loved them all. Damian also enjoyed them. Don used these as opportunities for napping (Philistine that he is) as his only interest is in the thrill rides.) The next morning we had some chores to accomplish before our flight so we checked out and went in search of the UPS drop box. When I thought I’d lost my precious Kindle forever, I ordered another one from Amazon and had it shipped to my in-law’s house. Amazingly, United Airlines recovered my Kindle and had it waiting for me at the baggage claim office. I returned the unopened new Kindle via UPS. Next chore was to return our rental car. We went to the gas station closest to the rental car place and they wanted $5.89 per gallon for regular gas! Don almost had a stroke so we drove a little further down the road and found a gas station with normal prices. We hopped on the shuttle and arrived at the airport. Unfortunately for Don, he was not given the pre-check access this time. So, while Damian & I flew through security (no problem this time with my quarters) Don was detained at the body scanner. When he finally cleared security he was ready for his pre-flight check in at the bar so we opted for lunch at Ruby Tuesdays. Damian enjoyed his return trip at his window seat more than his departure. His anxiety about flying had dissipated. We arrived safely at Dulles with no further injuries, problems nor inconveniences and my son Eric was waiting to ferry us home.
A traveler is born.
A few closing thoughts: No one does magical like Disney (although I am anxious to see how Universal handles Harry Potter). I couldn’t become one of those Disney time share folks because I find the huge sea of humanity unpleasant. I’d rather be out in a natural environment. Our upcoming China trip should be interesting – 1,369,930,000 people! (shudder)
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