The beach in front of the Marriott Stellaris Resort and Casino

We deferred our usual Summer beach visit this year knowing that we were heading to Puerto Rico. For me, it’s just not summer if I’m not laying in sand somewhere and frollicking in the waves. The area of San Juan where we are headquarted is a resort area called, Condado. Each morning we rise and troop across the street to the Starbucks for our coffee. (I save the Starbucks gift cards we inevitably receive throughout the year for just these occassions.) I try to save my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season for when I am either in an airport or at a travel destination. Pumpkin Spice is not so popular on Puerto Rico and their coffee industry took a major hit with Hurricane Maria. None the less, Puerto Rican coffee is delicious and we would order it at every opportunity. We would then usually stroll around the neighborhood before heading off for the day. There is still a significant amount of repair going on in Condado which is know for it’s beaches, shopping, casinos and night life.

View from my hotel room

Our hotel has a pool, hot tub, bar, restaurant complex that overlooks the beach and then there is a walkway that takes you down to the sand where they set up lounge chairs and umbrellas for you when you arrive. The wait staff from the restaurant will even come down, take your order and bring your food and beverages right to you. All beaches in Puerto Rico, even the areas immediately in front of the hotels are public.

The problem is that our area of beach is notorious for rough surf and riptides. In fact, several drownings have occurred in the area. There are no life guards and every day we were there the red flags were out. Nice for sitting surfside and gazing at the water but not nice for me to relax and float. I need a better beach. There is one a little further down the road from us and we decide to check it out on our walk to Old San Juan.

Playita de Condado

Nicer but small.

There’s a reef formation that surrounds this beach which seems to keep the waters pretty calm. It’s also ringed by hotels so it’s not too windy. While tucked into an urban area, it’s not my vision of swaying palm trees and crystal blue water. We decide to rent a car for a couple of days and plot a course that will let us hit the rain forest and a couple of well known beach towns.

In the Luquillo Mountains of Northeastern Puerto Rico lies the only tropical rain forest in the U.S. Forest Service system. El Yunque National Forest was decimated by Hurricane Maria and over a year later there are still only 3 very limited areas of access available to visitors. Under hurricane conditions, large branch breakage and defoliation occurs at 60 mph, weaker tree trunks snap at about 70 mph. It is estimated that sustained winds in excess of 140 mph hit this region. (The weather station that was located there has not been found yet and the odds of it being intact are slim.) A lush, verdant area became an impassable quagmire of brown detritus. As we snake our way up to the viewing point of one of the water falls we pass numerous work crews. Some roads have cavernous pot holes and the threat of landslides closes almost all of the hiking trails.

For some strange reason, our GPS navigation app takes us on a detour through a small housing development located just before you enter the Forest. It is our first up close look at what I would call country living in Puerto Rico. The homes are mostly 1 or 2 levels that are very low profile and made of concrete with flat, concrete roofs. Some have water collection tanks on top. Most windows have venetian-blind type shutters and most interestingly many have the doors, porches and property encased in wrought iron gates.

We finally arrive at the viewing point for the La Coca Falls.

La Coca Falls

We pass a few other small falls on the drive but are kind of disappointed because you used to be able to hike down to the bottom of La Coca and swim in the pool it creates.

Our next stop is the Yokahu Observation Tower. A climb up provides you with some nice panoramic views of the forest and coast.

Yokahu Tower

In April a team of scientists from NASA with specialized intruments flew over El Yunque to document and monitor the forest’s response. No doubt the cards here will be reshuffled and some species will thrive and some may fight to survive. Time will tell and hurricanes have been hitting here since before the indigenous peoples began drawing references to them. Obviously, there is still much work to be done.

Our next destination is Balneario Monserrate, more commonly known as Loquillo Beach. Public beaches with lifeguards and facilities like bathrooms, lockers, showers and food are known as balnearios and most are operated by the Puerto Rican National Parks company. You pay for parking and another small fee gets you a bracelet that gives you access to the facilites. This beach is a short drive from El Yunque. Another interesting thing about driving in Puerto Rico (which is very much like driving in the Bronx) is that tolls are ubiquitous and there are no cash lanes. Your rental car comes equipped with some kind of mechanism for keeping track of your tolls. You just drive right through the toll lanes. We encountered only 1 person who did not speak any English. Most folks we encountered were fluent but some spoke enough for us understand. I always initially spoke Spanish (my bad version, which very much impressed Don) and most took pity on me and immediately responded in English. When we arrived at Loquillo, I found MY beach.

The water was placid, bath-like and very blue. The beach has views of the mountains in the distance that just enhances it’s overall appeal. It was a weekday and we practically had the place to ourselves. After a significant amount of time spent enjoying the ocean we ventured over to the snack shack for a little lunch. Don was sporting his ‘geezer hat’, which is how I refer to his USS John F. Kennedy CVA-67 cap. It is emblazoned with all his little Navy pins and trinkets. We decided on some meat pies that they were making fresh and a couple of Coronas. There was a young couple in front of us waiting for their order. The young man thanked Don for his military service and shook his hand. I placed our order, in Spanish and the woman behind the counter asked me a question and I had no idea what she wanted to know. I responded that I didn’t understand and the young man told me, “She wants to know if it’s for here or to go.” I thanked him for his rescue and told the woman it was for here. She told me the price and then the young man spoke to her in Spanish. He told her he was going to pay for it. This lovely young couple bought our lunch. We chatted with them a little longer, them asking how we were enjoying Puerto Rico so far (very much!) and us relaying our exploits to date. After lunch we headed back for some toes in the water, ass in the sand time. Then we decided to pack up and check out our next beach stop.

Fajardo is known for it’s diving, snorkeling, water sports, pleasure boating and famous bioluminescent bay. The casino at the El Conquistador Resort was where they filmed part of the James Bond classic, Goldfinger. The trade winds that blow here coupled with an off-shore coral reef provide the environment for all these fun activities. Today we are headed to the Balneario Seven Seas. This is a crescent sliver of beach that has a nice amount of natural shade owed to the almond and palm trees. It was a bit breezier than Loquillo and the sand has more natural debris in it. There was a fair amount of trash too. There is also a rock ridge running across part of where the ocean meets the shore. We observed what the locals were doing and where they were congregating and heading into the water then located ourselves accordingly. When we arrived it was later in the day and it seems like people were arriving with their kids after school. There were also dogs on this beach where the signs at Loquillo said, “no pets.” The water was still warm and blue but had a little bit more of a wave to it due to the trade winds. Still a lovely place but if I had to pick, I’d say I liked Loquillo more.

We swam, we basked, we walked and when we had enough sun (it is very strong and despite sun screen we were getting burned) we headed back to Condado. Back at the Marriott we showered then headed down for a drink before having dinner at a close-by establishment. We topped off the night by making a donation at the casino.

Next: The foremost archeological site in the Carribean

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Casa Blanca is now a museum. It was Ponce de Leon’s homesite.

In 1493 during his second voyage to the New World Christopher Columbus landed on the island of Puerto Rico. The native inhabitants, called the Taino, were a peaceful people and showed Columbus their abundant natural resources including gold found in the rivers. It wasn’t long before these resources and the island’s critical location as the first stop entering the New World along the European sea routes made Puerto Rico the most important military outpost possessed by Spain in the Carribean. In 1505 the first planning stages for a fort began and official colonization was led by Ponce de Leon in 1508. In 1513 African slaves were introduced to the island. The Tainos and the Africans provided the slave labor force that created the new colony. The Spanish colonists were all male and in 1514 the Spanish Crown granted permission for the colonists to marry native Taino women.

Watch tower at Castillo de San Cristobal

View from Norzagaray Street

Our day started when we decided to walk from our hotel in the Condado area to Old San Juan. Despite the quizzical looks from the concierge at the Marriott (it’s a long walk) he told us it’s a picturesque hike along a road that hugs the coastline. Our destination was the San Juan National Historic site. This is a UNESCO World Heritage Site (we are suckers for those) consisting of 2 Forts, the old city wall and what is currently the governor’s residence. We get a little turned around on our stroll and I enlist the help of some lovely women who just finished their outside zumba class in one of the parks. Between my bad Spanish and their bad English we are soon headed in the right direction once again.

There’s a nice breeze but it’s still in the 90’s and humid and soon my sweating feet are sliding around in my Skechers creating blisters on my heels. The moleskin I applied as a preventative action is now falling off. I stop to try to salvage it as best I can. We are not too far from San Cristobal which is our first stop. I limp into the Visitor’s Center (air conditioned!) and we encounter the lovely Mrs. Gonzalez who is impressed that Don actually has his Senior Pass to the National Parks with him. (Apparently all the cruise ship tourists forget it.) We wind up talking to her for like 30 minutes as she gives us the low down on how to make the most of our day in Old San Juan including a great tip on a lunch restaurant that is truly a local establishment. We browse the exhibits in the visitor’s center then finally we grab our map and venture off into the Fort complex which is a series of defenses designed to support each other should invaders penetrate the outer, lower areas. Complete with tunnels, a dungeon and spectacular views of the city it is definitely a worthy exploration.

Main parade ground approaching the climb to the highest areas.

Spectacular view of the city when you climb up the walls.

Cannon areas

“Top of the world, Ma!”

Drawings of Spanish galleons made by prisoners in the dungeon.

Barracks area

Don hikes back down to the gift shop and gets me a package of bandaids which I apply to my ailing tootsies and we are back out on the road hoofing it through the streets to our lunch destination.

We find “El Jibarito” restaurant (loosely translated by Mrs. Gonzalez as, “The Hillbilly”) and enter. We are warmly greeted by the hostess who immediately welcomes us in English. (Funny, the locals take one look at us and must say, “Ah, Gringo!”) We are seated and handed a menu. One of the great things about Puerto Rico is that rum is readily available. They sell it everywhere in delicious smoothie-like concoctions made with local, fresh fruit. I order one with mango and Don gets a local beer. Mrs. Gonzalez has already sold us on what to order. They offer what is called the “Christmas Platter” which is loaded with all the goodies normally only made around Christmas time by your Puerto Rican grandmother. There’s a tamale-like offering made from mashed plantain seasoned and stuffed with a pork mixture then wrapped in banana leaf and boiled, yellow rice, fried sweet plantain and cubes of pork in a gravy. Extremely filling (no wonder it’s only made at Christmas!) and delicious. Local families are arriving and greeted by name. Mrs. Gonzalez assures us that this is a working class neighborhood and the establishment is a local treasure. I am now ready for a siesta but we must continue our trek to El Morro.

The western side of San Juan is the high ground. When we finish our tour of the second fort, El Morro. We tromp down the side streets winding our way through the narrow cobblestones. We visit shops and galleries and pass museums, parks and plazas as we eventually find our way to the old city wall and La Fortaleza. Many of the streets have the original blue cobblestones. Iron slag was used as ballast in European merchant ships in the 1800s and this was used to make the cobblestones. They are gradually replacing the stones (the streets are quite irregular) and unfortunately function will overrule beauty. We spend time chatting with the shopkeepers and artists including one very interesting lady who fashions rosary beads and jewelry out of larimar. This is a blue stone that is only found in the Carribean Sea. She sent a set of rosary beads to both President Trump and First Lady Melania and received a letter from him in return which she is happy to show you.

The outdoor art exhibit
“Sombrillas” on Calle Fortaleza.

La Fortaleza has served as an aresnal, a prison, a fortress and is currently the home of the Governor of Puerto Rico. We walked through the San Juan Gate in the original old city wall that surrounded San Juan. There’s a trail that hugs the shoreline and provides beautiful night time views across the bay. Then we strolled Paseo de la Princessa and saw the statue Fuente Raices which is a representation of the roots of Puerto Rican culture: Tainos, Spaniards and Africans. This was fitting because we had dinner at the nearby restaurant called “Raices” and indulged in more Puerto Rican food: mofongo with shrimp for me and Kan Kan porkchop for Don (delicious) washed down with a few local beers.

We logged over 10 miles that day and our FitBits were happy. My feet were not as I had to replace my bandaids several times. I would resort to sandals for the rest of our trip. We decided to reward ourselves with a cab ride back to Condado. We had a Dominican transplant for our cabdriver and he treated us by blasting his music and singing along loudly while dance/driving in his seat. All in all it was a great day in Old San Juan.

Next: Rain Forest & Beaches

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Mr. & Mrs. Marable
(photo courtesy of K. Marable)

After barely having time to recover from Eric & Natalie’s wedding we forge ahead in celebrating the nuptials of T.J. & Karen Marable. T.J. is our son from another mother (& father), our first Fauquier friends, Tom & Cindy. He was the best man at Eric’s wedding and now Eric is returning the favor along with Don who is the officiant.

Don & Karen post ceremony
(Notice beers in hands)

While Eric’s wedding was a small, intimate affair of 50 people, T.J.’s wedding was a fiesta topping 230 guests held in the shadow of Massanutten Mountain (site of the proposal) at Cross Keys Barn.

Cross Keys Barn

The festivities started with the rehearsal dinner on Friday evening where I narrowly escaped with my life after a bizarre pinata accident. Yup, the wooden bat broke and the ensuing projectile hit me (out of a huge crowd) square in the face. Fortunately, it slammed into my glasses on a direct horizontal path and resulted (amazingly) in no damage whatsoever to my face or glasses!

Seconds before the bat breaks.

The kiddies in attendance swarmed in to collect the contents of the pinata only for us to later realize that some of the goodies were those little liquor filled chocolates. We proceeded to confiscate the contraband from the kids and averted a bunch of drunken kids (& a probable CPS report).

Don stealing candy from children.

Confiscated candy replaced with candy containing skewers (?) Note broken pinata bat with my faceprint.

Us

Best Man speech

Don & Tom

Cindy & T.J.

Although it was a tight fit in the barn, tables were called to the buffet individually which made for an orderly dinner and lots of good tequilla and music made for fluid movement between the dance floor and outdoor bars. Of course there were the obligatory intermittant sprinkles of rain that had permeated both weddings but didn’t dampen spirits. Shuttle transportation that was provided between the condos & hotels let everyone enjoy to the max. The next day we departed for home to retrieve our bags and head up to our hotel in Baltimore to facilitate our 6:30 a.m. boarding time for our flight to Puerto Rico.

Up at 4:30 a.m.

Next time: Old San Juan

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Welcome to The Shire

Timeline: Six Months Ago

Me to my son: “So, what’s your rain plan?”
(A wedding is planned at a lovely outdoor venue.)

My son to me: “Uh, we get wet?”
(He comes by his obnoxious sarcasm honestly.)

Timeline: Six Days Ago

Me to my son: “So, what’s your hurricane plan?”
My son to me: “Sacrifice to the gods?”

What happens when your wedding vision is Bilbo Baggin’s 111 Birthday Party meets A Midsummer Night’s Dream and a Category 3 hurricane wants to crash the party?

Here is that story:

I can’t begin to do justice to the monumental amount of time, energy, creativity, physical labor and love that went into the planning and execution of this event. The Pardo family, spearheaded by Natalie’s oldest sister Chris are an amazingly talented collection of artists whose vision and efforts created the magic that transformed Greenock Manor in Orange, Virginia into The Shire. Family and friends pitched in their individual talents: construction skills for building the bar & dessert table; electrical troubleshooting when strings of lights were malfunctioning; suspending the hoops from the top of the tentpoles then hand placing the greenery, flowers and glass globes with the twinkly lights; hand-making all the bouquets & boutonnieres (how I got involved in that task I’ll never know!); assembly of the centerpieces which were hand filled with 2 types of live moss, fresh cut flowers, greenery & lavender; creating the tree stump walkway to the tent when each stump had different lit lanterns and strings of lights were strung overhead in the trees with a perimeter of whiskey barrels also with lanterns placed on top making an illuminated walkway (most helpful after dark); each table was set with linens and china; wood burning the elvish script lettering into the table signs & beer kegs; installation of the dance floor; flowers & greenery were inserted into the ceremony archway and then wrapped in fabric (this is just the stuff that went on outside). Inside the manor house food was prepared for the non-rehearsal dinner and pre-event luncheon; gift table and hors d’ouveres tables were set and decorated; guest sign-in was a photo booth that provided polaroids to be inserted into the guest book; fresh flowers were artfully arranged throughout the house. The spread sheet that was utilized for task delegation, completion and timeline was a work of archetectural genius masterminded by Chris.

Alter before embellishment

Decorating the alter.

Adding greenery and flowers to the hoops

Natalie painting signs

View from back deck to guest house

‘Before’

The uniform of the day was ‘rain boots’ and those of us who had them were truly grateful that we did.

A glimpse of the Master Checklist:

By the end of Day 1 everyone was sweaty, soaked, dirty and covered in mosquito bites. Some weddings release doves, we had mosquitos. They laughed at us as we applied bug spray that was brought in by the pallet. Now it was time for the non-rehearsal dinner. I believe the intention was to rehearse, however once 2 enormous Tupperware tubs full of beer and all the wine that was supposed to be for the wedding was consumed there was not much interest in rehearsing shown by the members of the bridal party.

Work party mustering second wind before non-rehearsal dinner.

Bride, Groom & Best Man
refreshed & rejuvenated

Meanwhile, back inside. . .
Can you feel the love tonight?

Things are starting to go downhill.

The town of Orange has a noise ordinance that basically says no loudness outside after 11:00 pm so things move inside and around midnight folks are settling down (that would be me). Things are still in full swing downstairs like piano playing and Disney musical sing-a-longs. Guests who are not staying at the Manor House stagger their way across the street to various hotels and inns. Some tote black plastic contractor bags full of beer with them. Our lovely innkeeper, Chanel, announces that she is now locking down the property and she exits.

My bedroom at the Manor

What nobody realizes is that Don & Steve (my oldest son) have walked down to the gas station in search of more beer (mistake) but decided to indulge in a few gas station chili dogs while there. Arms full of beer, they return to the house only to discover that they cannot enter. They try calling anyone who’s number they have at the Manor House. No one answers.

What to do? What to do? They stagger across to the hotel where the kids have been bedded down, drop all their beer on the front desk and begin the attempt at having the desk manager give them a key to the kid’s room. Fortunately, Steve was at the original check in (the kid’s room is in my name) and around 3:00 am they are finally able to get off the streets of Orange where it’s only a matter of time before they get locked up for public drunkenness.

And we were worried about the kids’ behavior at the hotel!

Around 7:30 am Don enters my room. “Didn’t you wonder where I was?” he asked. “Nope.” I replied. He decides to join me for breakfast before heading off to bed. He informs me that when he left Steve, he was alive. Unfortunately, now Kim has not only the kids but her husband to care for this morning. I head down to the tent to assist with final set up which is scheduled to end at 12:30 pm when the guys depart for the hotel to begin their preparations and the girls dress at the Manor. Photographer is scheduled to arrive at 3:00 pm, guests at 4:00 pm & ceremony at 4:30 pm (weather permitting).
It seems decidedly more dry out today. (At least to me) There’s still a bunch of work going on at the tent. The tables are being set after the centerpieces are finished. Dessert table looks great, bar is stocked, now dance floor being cleared and cleaned, dry dirt and cedar bedding applied to keep the ground dry. Outside the chairs are being wiped off and a radar check shows we seem to show dry skies from now until around the time of the ceremony. Fingers crossed! I head back to my room after grabbing a sandwich from the luncheon set up. I have about 2 hours to shower, do hair & make up and dress. Don is over at the hotel bringing lunch to Steve and the kids. I decide to take 20 minutes to pray and meditate.
Don arrives while I’m putting on my face. He zips my dress for me and ensures that my spanx aren’t failing me by leaving any unsightly lumps. Last minute check of each other. This is as good as it’s going to get.

Ready to go!

Meanwhile, downstairs the guys have arrived and are trying to figure out how to put on a boutonniere.

The photographer is underway with the First Look photos and we decide to head out to the deck.

Our ‘first look’.

We notice some sunlight shining down on the alter and some small patches of blue in the sky! Hurry up!
The announcement is made for the guests to be seated and we are told to line up for the processional.

Natalie looks so beautiful! (photo from Nikki Scott)

Our officiant, the honorable Jake, is now regretting not having a rehearsal. Not to fear, he nails it.

“I now pronounce you
legal partners.” (Ugh, Kids today!) photo from Nikki Scott

The first raindrops started almost immediately. The guests headed down to the cocktail hour and we headed off with the photographer. It wasn’t long before we were joining in the festivities. I did keep my ‘cute shoes’ on until after the Mother & Son dance (“Come Rain or Come Shine” by B.B.King & Eric Clapton) but then traded them for the new pair of Toms that Natalie & Eric gave me for my birthday which were then traded for my Pink rain boots when the ground behind our seats started getting muddy from the intermittant downpours. However, there was no raining on this parade despite many abandoning shoes altogether and several slips and slides in the mud for some.

First, we dance! (photo by Christina Pardo Brooks)

Then, we dine!

Devon Lee did an outstanding job with the catering because it isn’t easy trying to provide for a horde of hobbit-sized appetites.

Food photos by Devon Lee

Then there was the bar.
I know that there were 2 types of beer on tap. I know that there were several wine choices. I know there was whiskey.
Then there was this:

Bolivian fire water. (picture courtesy of someone else)

What I know is that Natalie’s Aunt is somehow responsible for this stuff now being available in the U.S.A.
It is used in making Natalie’s ‘signature cocktail’ which contains this Unholy Grape, ginger ale & lime juice.
It is magnificent stuff but must be consumed carefully by professional drinkers only.
Most of those in attendance were not professional drinkers.

Non professional drinkers

As in most types of affairs, the dance floor starts off with a few brave souls. The dance floor occupation is proportional to the liquor consumption. More drinking, more dancing. This crowd was brought to their feet initially by 2 music genres: Country & Latin American. After loosening up with those we flowed through oldies, pop and then we proceeded to the drunk sing-a-long/dance-a-long stage with such classics as:

Dropkick Murphys, “Kiss Me I’m Shitfaced”
Disney’s, “Gaston”
Don McLean’s, “American Pie”
Old Crow Medicine Show’s, “Wagon Wheel”
Journey’s, “Don’t Stop Believin'”
Queen’s, “Bohemian Rhapsody” & “Under Pressure” to name a few. . .

The night is young.

It’s all fun & games until you hear, “Last Call!” from the bartender. People were returning from their ‘last call’ with entire bottles of alcohol. To be honest, I consumed more liquor in a shorter amount of time after ‘last call’ was announced than I did all evening long. That was because the youngsters (read: non-professional drinkers) thought it was time for shots with “Mama Russo”!
Noise ordinance is now in effect. The kids are still pretty noisey.
The next morning they are decidely more subdued while guzzling gatorade & Advil. It is time to strike the set and go about the tasks of a life together. Congratulations to Natalie & Eric. We love you both immeasurably❣

“Hush! Hush!” “Good People! and good night.”
photo by Nikki Scott

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Our last Summer fling

The end of our unofficial Summer vacation occurs this week. Don returns to school & Damian returns the following week. Football practices have begun. School supplies were purchased on our tax free holiday this weekend. Don’t blink because I have seen Halloween decorations already in stores. Damian just returned from spending the weekend down in the Northern Neck with his Uncle Darren & future Aunt Kensley. This afforded Don & I one last hurrah before we settle into the routine of the school year.

Fishing on the Chesapeake

This Summer we spent an inordinate amount of time in the car as we traversed across Virginia, ran down to North Carolina for our Grandson’s high school graduation, visited the Philadelphia area 3 times, extended one of those trips up to Atlantic City, made a day trip to our neighbor West Virginia and Don even made it up to New York.

Mike’s graduation

Virginia brewery tour

After flying the canopy zip lines at Shenandoah River State Park

Philadelphia 1 – meet the family

Fairy Stone State Park

The Virginia Museum of Natural History

July 4th at Kings Dominion

Overnite visit to Winchester Medical Center (I’m fine, thanks.)

Navy Reunion – Philly 2

On the Boardwalk – Atlantic City NJ

Don visiting family in NY

Philly 3 with Dawn & Darren

Despite all this galavanting we were still able to get a few things done around the house.

Before

After

Don didn’t even fall off the ladder once.

Redone barn & our new boarder.

My new garden gate.

Back deck

Screen porch

New guest room

New finish on Mom’s old china cabinet.

We even had a bit of luck this summer:

My peonies bloomed beautifully

Eric & Natalie found a new home

Damian found a volleyball while camping

The Caps found the Stanley Cup (photo courtesy of Eric Russo)

I found a bottle of Patron in my hotel room (yes, I drank it)

I digress, this post is supposed to be about our day in and around Harper’s Ferry, West Virginia.
Harper’s Ferry is a confluence of 3 states: Maryland, West Virginia & Virginia and 2 rivers: the Potomac & the Shenandoah. It was historically significant as the site of John Brown’s raid & Civil War battles as well as being located along what was once the C&O Canal. Recreationally, the rivers are popular for fishing, white water rafting, tubing and kayaking. The Applachian Trail runs right through the town and there are numerous other trails for hikers to enjoy. Due to the unique location of the lower town, there have been more than 80 floods.

Crossing to the Maryland side by the old railway tunnel (still in use)

Flood markers

The high water levels are great for rafting this summer

View from the Maryland side

Garden in town

Our packed picnic (we’re not
Barbarians)

We recalled that before the current National Park site was built we used to park right down by the river on sultry summer Sundays and take our boys fishing but now you access through the main gate and are taken into town via bus. We put Don’s National Park Pass to good use. After hiking around and sweating enough we were ready to cool down so we headed over to nearby Charlestown to hit the Hollywood Casino & Race Track. The horse racing didn’t start until 7:00 pm so we figured we’d kill a little time in the Casino first.

Where my money went in the casino

Refreshed by the frigid air conditioning of the casino & the free Coca Cola we moved out to the race track. The evening was beautiful and the track is surrounded by mountains which makes for a pretty view. It is an intimate track and most of the horses running are locally bred. I enjoy going down to the paddock and looking at them before the post parade.

shot of the straightaway

The skills acquired through my time spent at various racing venues with my parents and grandparents apparantly paid off as I was handicapping pretty well this night. We departed after the 4th race being able to walk away with 2 exacta wins under our belts. We headed over to the Mountain View diner across the street which is a treat for us. It is an authentic Greek diner which while very prevalent in NY are lacking down here by us. They have a vast menu and the desserts are to die for – I packed a piece of coconut custard pie for the road.

Learning to read a racing form at age 8 pays off

We’ve been to Harper’s Ferry and Charletown many, many times in the 35 years since relocating south but I can’t recall a more pleasant time. I guess knowing that this was our last weekend alone before going back to the grind made it more special.

Visit the Mountain Heritage Crafts Festival Sept 28-30

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Sunset reflected in the lake.

Legend has it that a long time ago fairies played in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. One day an angel arrived and told the fairies the sad news of the crucifixion of Christ. The fairies wept so hard that as their tears fell they turned to little stone crosses. As time passed and the fairies moved on these little crystallized crosses were cherished by Mother Earth and she covered them. These unique stone crosses came to be known as Fairy Stones.

Fairy Stones

The technical name for these tiny wonders is ‘staurolite’ and they are composed of iron, aluminum and silicate although sometimes magnesium, zinc or manganese substitues for the iron. When a specific combination of heat and pressure occurs such as the conditions that formed the Applachian Mountains, ‘cruciform penetration twinning’ creates the cross-shaped crystals.
If you’re a believer in the powers of crystals and such mumbo-jumbo you may find this interesting:

Staurolites are very grounding. It is this grounding, this connection to the earth, that is the basis for the belief that staurolite is a tool for communicating with animals and other entities of the natural and fairy realm.

They are said to make you feel more calm and relaxed, relieve stress and help dissipate fear and anxiety. The staurolite grounds you, connecting you to the earth, which also helps you to be less fearful, and to stay calm during situations that would normally make you anxious. It is said to bring you back into your body, should your mind tend to “float away” on you. By bringing the body to a place of calm and balance, staurolite improves the entire condition of the mind and body, improving overall health.

Many sources cite that staurolite is an excellent tool for assisting in overcoming addictions. Its grounding, calming effects lend strength to those seeking to stop smoking and release other addictive behaviors. The energy of staurolite can be enhanced and strengthened by using it in conjunction with amethyst, iolite or sugilite… which all lend their potent support to those wishing to put an end to self-destructive habits.

It is said that staurolite can help you find lost objects, and can boost the clarity of your dreams. All legends and modern day sources agree that staurolite is an overall good luck stone, and this good luck quality is the most common reason it is worn or carried. – origenstones.com

If you do believe in this sort of thing, I know someone who can hook you up!

In need of some extremely powerful crystals?

Actually, I’m going to let you in on where the fairy stones are found. In one of Virginia’s fine state parks you can go hunt for them yourselves. I stumbled across Fairy Stone State Park when I was looking for a place to take Don for his Father’s Day/Birthday celebration. Damian had expressed an interest in going camping this summer. This brought to mind our previous camping excursions:

http://mycarmageddon.com/2014/06/little-trip-of-horrors-cape-fear-edition/

http://mycarmageddon.com/2013/06/i-hear-the-rain-a-comin/

Let’s just say that we’ve considered going to campgrounds in areas where there have been severe droughts and charging for our ‘rainmaker’ services. I have now adopted a new camping strategy. No more tents for me!

No more of this shit!

I needed a rainproof solution and while I was at it I also decided I needed electricity, air-conditioning, a real bed, a hot shower, swimming, boating, fishing, a screened-in porch and a temperature-controlled wine cabinet. OK, I didn’t get the wine cabinet but the rest was pretty good.

Cabin sweet cabin

Spot for chillin’

View from the screen porch

Well-equipped kitchen

Living room
(Yes, we had central A/C)

Don roasting a whole chicken stuffed with lemon & garlic.

Real camping food:
Sausage, meatballs, pasta with homemade gravy.

The amenities were pretty sweet too:

Beach for swimming

Plenty of hiking trails

Fishing

Boating (keep paddling boys)

They even had a theatre!

We attended a farmer’s market and Damian had some homemade pineapple ice cream which he said was ‘amazingly delicious’. We also had a long and lovely conversation with local author and genealogist, Avis Turner. This awesome 83 year old lady told us how Fairy Stone Lake was created when the Philpott Dam was built. It flooded the hollow where the town of Fayerdale once existed. It was once a boom-town where iron mining (the iron-ore trail in the Park leads to the old mine), lumber and whiskey making fueled the local economy.Her grandparents’ cabin was located under what’s now the lake. She’s written several books about her family and what life was like in the 1800 and early 1900s for folks like her grandparents. Of course, we bought a book from her and thoroughly enjoyed our time with her. She is a wisp of a woman with an extremely soft voice. She was the care-giver for her husband who suffered from dementia and passed away in 2014. He loved listening to the boy in the above video play his music at the market.

Awesome Avis Turner!

There was no lack of natural beauty and wonders.

Fairy Stone Lake

Pretty flowers

Cairns

Wild rhododendron

Lichen

It would have been near perfect except for the rain. Yup, it rained every single day. Not so much that it prevented us from doing things. Just intermittantly throughout the day and night. Thankfully, there was only one day that was a complete wash out. That day we visited the town of Martinsville. We hit some local junk/antique shops where I bought my sister and brother-in-law a Christmas present (Shhh, don’t tell them!) and the Virginia Museum of Natural History.

A few exhibits

Despite the expected rain, it was still a good trip. Viewing the lake while sitting on the screen porch was absolutely tranquil and there’s nothing like sitting in front of a campfire at night toasting marshmallows. Even if there was no fire pit and the camping rules said ‘all fires must be contained to the grills’.

We always obey the rules.

Doesn’t he look happy!

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12 hour shifts are not designed for the elderly. By 5 p.m. I have lost interest in whatever it is I have been doing for the past 10 hours and this is not a good thing when your job involves life and death decisions.

It’s after 5 p.m. so why isn’t this drink dispenser releasing my margarita?

Perhaps it is time to explore options that allow me to create a more favorable work schedule. Let’s see what all this fuss is about the Uber. It seems simple enough. I pick up respectable people who for whatever noble reason choose not to drive to their destination and they pay me a fee. Let’s give it a try!

My first ride is a little off the beaten path. In fact, it’s on top of a mountain. It seems that it’s Father’s Day and apparently some nice son wants to take his Dad out. Probably going to church or maybe Golden Corral. This should be easy money!

Do you think I can’t see you in that shirt?

After negotiating the minefield that they refer to as a ‘road’ I spot the old guy waving me down. I can only assume that the surly looking millenial staring at his phone screen is the son. What the hell is he looking at? I can’t get any cell phone service up here. I wonder what carrier he uses? I’m screwed without my Wayze app! They want to go into Front Royal which isn’t too far so it should be OK, although why anyone would want to go into Front Royal is beyond me.

Oh wait! They want me to drive them around to some local breweries. They tell me that they will make it worth my while if I wait for them while they run in for a quick pint. How long could that take? Then I can move on to my next fare. All right guys, get in!

Now I’m their photographer?

I pull up in front of some glass doors that look like they lead into a back alley. The guys ask if I can just take a quick picture of them. I guess it can’t do any harm. When the picture is taken they enter what looks like a restaurant. I hope these jerks aren’t planning on having lunch while I sit out here. The young one sidles up to a bar and peruses the selections which are written on a board. It takes like 15 minutes for Junior to decide on a beer. What? Budweiser not good enough for you? He probably ordered some IPA crap. At least there’s some cool artwork on the walls in the alley.

Probably asking if it’s ‘organic’ beer.

At least the posters are cool.

Looks kind of familiar

I get back in the car and keep the engine running so the A/C keeps it cool. They should be out any second now.
Crap! I must have dozed off. I check the time and notice 2 hours have gone bye! Holy shit! Where are these morons?

Pops & Junior staring at me through the windshield.

I feel badly for falling asleep. How long have they been out here? I smile sheepishly as they get into the vehicle. It seems now they want to go to another brewery. How do I say,”no”? I guess I owe it to them. They assure me it’s not far.
I cross a bridge out of town and am directed down a winding road in a bucolic setting then I make a right into what looks like a farm. There are hoop houses and signs advertising ‘herbs for sale’ and ‘hops’.

Again with the pictures!

Did that sign say ‘herbs for sale’ or ‘herb for sale’?

This time I figure that I better keep them in sight so I stake out a chair in close proximity. They emerge from an outbuilding but now they’re drinking 4 at a time!

These jokers can really put it away!

A few more hours of drinking for them while I battle fire ants and sweltering heat. I think I’m getting dehydrated and hypoglycemic. Finally, they start heading back to the car and I run across a field so I can beat them there. No fear! They are relieving themselves next to a cow. They saunter over and say they would like to head home now (Yea!) but just one more stop first. (Aarrghh!)

Donuts my ass!

They claimed that they were just stopping to get some apple donuts but it turns out this place is also a pub and they even have their own cups! “I quit!” I yell to them. They said that it’s quite alright as they can walk (stagger?) home from here.
Jerks.

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Despite the 6 inches of snow right before we left and the winter weather advisory we returned to it was Spring Break for us last week. Several destinations were entertained but consideration was given to visiting my in-laws in Central Florida. Airfare prices were absurd due to it being Spring Break so we returned to our origins as road trippers. Unforturnately, old bones don’t sit well in cars anymore and the days of the 11 hour marathons are over. Our compromise was to include brief interludes coming and going at some of our favorite destinations. We were able to secure a great rate on a rental car through our travel rewards program so after work on Friday we set off for our first stop – Charleston, SC.

Across from our hotel.

While driving past snowy fields in my neighborhood to continue down I-95 I was rethinking my packing wardrobe choices of shorts, capris and flimsy blouses. Although the further south we headed the more I started to see some signs of Spring. We encountered some budding trees and forsythia blooms but it was the azaleas and palm trees in South Carolina that finally warmed my heart. I can’t get enough of the Low Country and apparently many others felt the same way as I that weekend. Charleston was hopping! Unbeknownst to us, The Citadel Cadets were holding their “break out”, a battleship was being commissioned, every fraternity and sorority south of the Mason-Dixon Line were staying in our hotel plus several weddings and there were no less than 25 bachelorette and bachelor parties trolling through town.

Breakout for The Citadel Cadets

The Historic District

We pounded a lot of pavement before sitting down to a late dinner of Thai food. It was a random but good choice of a restaurant because I couldn’t get a reservation via my Open Table app due to the crowds. It became cooler as the sun went down but still much warmer than Linden, Virginia.

The Pineapple Fountain – my favorite.

The Night Markets

Riverfront Park at Dusk

We packed a lot into that day at Charleston because the weather forecast was calling for rain the next 2 days. As promised, we awoke to dismal skies, ate breakfast then waited for our car to be brought around amidst the throngs of hung over college kids who were also checking out. Our next stop was Daytona Beach, FL. Don’s sister and brother in-law reside 2 blocks back from the oceanfront and although we knew the weather would also be bad there we were looking forward to just catching up with Brenda & Danny. The ride down was uneventful. We did stop at a strange little place called, “Georgia’s Peach World” for some local delicacies. This place was being touted by billboards for like 100 miles along the South Carolina and Georgia border area. When we left the highway and pulled into it’s parking lot it was not quite what we expected to see.

We stopped for this?

Despite it’s horrifying outward appearance we found that inside it was a treasure trove of peach & pecan related goodness. It was staffed with no less than 6 extremely friendly folks who couldn’t wait to provide you with samples of their wares. I can only imagine how much better it must be in actual peach season. We exited with several bags full of salsas, jams, teas and pecan products.

Daytona was dreary but sunshine was provided by the hospitality of Brenda and Dan. When we returned to their home after dinner out we were up until 2:00 a.m. just chatting away. We did venture down to the beach in the morning for a little metal detecting but the rain and chill put a quick stop to it.

Dan teaching Damian how to hunt for treasure. (We found none.)

We said our goodbyes to the Bensons and continued south toward the Orlando area and the promise of sunny skies and warmer temperatures. Although I did get to break out my shorts finally there was a steady breeze blowing each day we were there which kept it on the cool side. My in-laws, Bill & RoseMarie Volpone (Masters of the Universe) said that the temperatures of late had been unseasonable. (The story of my life will be titled: Unseasonable Temperatures) It did not keep us from seeking sunrays in the Sunshine State.

The gang at Kissimmee Lakefront Park

Soaking up some sunshine

Gator watching at Lake Toho

We did take in the film Darkest Hour while visiting the folks. Gary Oldman was brilliant as Churchill and eventhough it wasn’t an action adventure film it received high marks from Damian. His knowledge of many of the events depicted in World War II was surprising to me. He said they have been studying it in history and he plays a lot of video games set during the war. I guess he’s learning something with all those hours he wastes.

This trip we agreed to bypass Savannah for once (a hard thing for me to do) and detour it to Hilton Head. As far as east coast beach resorts go, this is my favorite. While I would not like to live on the island itself, the surrounding areas like Bluffton and Beaufort are getting a hard look as possible retirement destinations. Our hotel was situated an easy walk to the beach as well as being in close proximity to numerous shopping and dining options. The weather was still on the cool side but there was abundant sunshine.

Water not as cold as expected.

We’re sexy & we know it.

Life is good.

Thought we found my bff Becky & her Willow on the beach.

While I could have easily spent another week at Hilton Head we needed to plod on because our crowning glory event for the week was almost upon us. As a Christmas present this year our son Eric bought us tickets to the event know as Awesome Con which we were to attend with him & Natalie. What is Awesome Con you ask? (Go ahead, I did.) I guess it can best be described as a convention that has something for every type of Geek and Nerd out there. (I say this will all due respects to you Geeks and Nerds, my son included.) We hit the abominable traffic on I-95 in Virginia and crawled up from Fredericksburg to connect with the Fairfax County Parkway. After returning the rental car to the Dulles Airport we hooked up with Eric & Natalie and headed off to a wine & beer tasting then back to the house where Eric gave us the joy of sampling some of the best Roman-style pizza I’ve ever tasted. All entirely home made by him.

Another cool & local fnd in southern VA on a peanut farm.

North or south, 95 makes me want to punch someone in the mouth.

My usual enthusiastic reception from Nuka.

He gets his chef skills from his father.

Brilliant!

We settle down for the night after being totally stuffed with pizza. In the morning, we are treated to Eric’s omlet making skills which are also extraordinary. I guess that time spent as a short order cook at Whole Foods paid off. Now, it’s off to Awesome Con!

Awesome Con official guide

Nerd Central is at the Convention Center in Washington D.C. There’s a huge line that wraps around the building full of many, shall we say, festively attired fans. Mind you the place has already been open for hours. As we are winding our way to line’s end someone official looking herds us separately and scurries us off to a different entrance where we just walk right inside. We don’t look a gift geek in the mouth so we go pick up our badges and head for the merchandise floor.

Vendors & Artists galore.

There’s honestly so much going on that it’s almost overwhelming: comics, graphic novels, collectibles, games, art, cosplay, autograph signings, gaming tournaments, costume contests & discussion panels and on and on . . .

One of the minor costume contests

Natalie with her weeping angel Christmas tree topper
(something to do with Dr Who I am told)

Encountering stand up wizardry.

Something to do with a video game called Overwatch.

Eric had sent me the itinerary way in advance and asked me which panels I would be interested in attending (😂) so I told him to surprise me. He selected one that he and Natalie have attended the past 2 years which involved some guy who had been in Dr. Who and a show called Arrow which is based on some comic book character (neither show have I ever seen).  Eric said the guy was hilarious so sure, let’s go.

Theatre Legend: John Barrowman – an Awesome Con regular

It turns out the nerd I am expecting to see is West End Theatre Legend John Barrowman. I can attest not one question directed to him had anything to do with his theatre creds. It was all Dr Who & Arrow. He is an admittedly huge Star Wars Geek himself and came out with a cast of Star Wars dressed characters and he himself was a drag Princess Leia. He was FABULOUS, hilarious, inappropriate, singing and dancing – a true star. He made the day worthwhile for me and as his panel was the last thing we did at Awesome Con, it ended on a truly high note. (Of course I did have some ‘splainin’ to do with Damian as this was his first gay drag show – yes, we will be on the ballot again for Grandparents of the Year so vote early and often.) In all honesty, I did not know who John Barrowman was but while telling this story to my sister, Dawn (the Queen of Theatre Geeks) she said, “You don’t mean John Barrowman from the West End do you?” She then sent me a video clip of him doing Sondheim and I said, “Yup, that’s the guy.” To which she told me that she’s seen him perform. I told her I knew he had to have some type of musical theatre background by the way he sang and danced. She was amazed that he had been in TV shows which only goes to prove “to each Nerd his or her Nerdom”.

Dawn who is spending Spring Break in Aruba instead of at a Nerd Convention.

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The calm before the storm.

It’s 8:30 a.m. and we are first in line staring through the glass doors that are still 30 minutes away from opening. We arrived yesterday and realized that during prime time seating is very limited. Tables are a coveted commodity. Don & I have adopted a strategy of divide and conquer. My surveillance skills of eavesdropping on my neighbors has revealed their strategy: send in the kids. The small children have been told to run in and get a table. The children closest to me have received their intructions and are anxious to engage in their mission. I already know that I will be successful. Most of the kiddos near me are very small boys. I know that during this half hour wait time they will lose interest and then when the doors do open they will all scramble to the nearest tables. Don and I have set our sites further back to an area that has fewer tables that are not in the splash zone. Now all I have to do is sip my Dunkin Donuts coffee and wait.

Let me go back to the beginning which was Christmas. Last year we gave a trip to Walt Disney World/Universal as a Christmas present to my grandchildren. We opted for memories over merchandise. It was such a success that this year we decided to continue in that spirit and booked a weekend stay at Great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg, Virginia as our Christmas 2017 present.

A short while after opening.

The Great Wolf Lodge chain is basically a family-centered resort anchored around an indoor water park. When you book your stay your daily admissions to the water park are included in the price. There are varying levels of rooms ranging from standard, premium and themed suites. There are numerous free events that are scheduled throughout the day mostly designed for the very young children like morning yoga, the Great Clock Tower Show, character meet and greets, crafts, dance parties and bedtime story time where the kids attend in their PJs. The add-on extras (read: money makers that the older kids will want to do) range from an arcade, mini bowling alley, 4D short movie theatre and the wandering wand adventure known as MagiQuest. They also have separate kid and adult spas and in the nicer weather outdoor rope courses and mini golf. A big plus is that they allow incoming guests to access all facilities from 1:00 p.m. on the day of check-in & all day on the day of check-out. They have lockers, showers and changing facilities to make this extra access an attractive option.

Upon arrival you are issued bracelets that serve as your room key, entrance access and allow you to charge items to your room to be settled at check-out time. (This feature was immediately disabled for obvious reasons – No, I wasn’t worried about the kids I was worried about Don at the bar.) We were also issued limited release Easter themed wolf ears which seemed to be highly prized as the usual wolf ears are grey.

Looking particularly foxy in my wolf ears!

Despite initial complaints the boys donned their ears.

In order to accomodate our crowd we opted for a Grizzly Bear Suite which featured a fireplace, small balcony, huge waterfall shower in one bathroom and jacuzzi tub in the other. Every room comes standard with microwave, small coffe maker and mini-fridge. The rooms are not so much designed for comfort as they are to provide you a place to collapse, exhausted after spending all day engaged in activities.

Image courtesy of Great Wolf Lodge. Instead of the window, we had a sliding glass door that led out to the balcony.

As much as I love natural water: beaches, lakes, rivers, streams I am not a big fan of water parks. This one is very reminiscent of the one at Massanutten Resort. I think this one is bigger. The noise level is deafening and you have to scream to converse with someone sitting right next to you. Kids are running wild everywhere. The Lazy River should be renamed The Crazy River. There is nothing lazy about it as kids are literally running through it with or without tubes, diving through tubes, onto others tubes, you get the picture. While I was attempting to float and mind my own business my own grandkids assaulted me and boarded my tube like pirates with the expected result of capsizing us all into the current.

Pirates masquerading as innocent children.

The Crazy River. Note more than half these folks have no tubes.

There are numerous water slides with the premier attraction being “The Tornado”. Don renamed this ride “The Toilet” because it is exactly what one must experience if one were being flushed down a commode. Two to four riders (weigh limit 700lbs) sit in a raft and are launched down a tube that dead drops you into a big bowl which you fly back and forth in until you circle the drain, so to speak and then complete the flush into a pool. My son Steve, who is 6’4″ and definitely outside the design parameters for this ride was banged and bruised. Of course, this never stopped him from repeated flushings.

Kim, Mike and Zac at the end of the flush.

6’4″ does not flush well.

There are pools for basketball and obstacles, there’s a wave pool (when it gets ready to start it is announced by a pack of howling wolves, which illicits screams from all the pool occupants), there’s a wave riding simulator, large kiddie pool area with lots of splash features, a huge fort-like thing in the center for climbing, sliding and dumping water onto unsuspecting patrons and most importantly for me: a hot tub that doesn’t admit anyone under 21 years of age. A snack bar and actual bar completes the water park area.

Dan getting ready to sink one.

Steve and Zac’s forceful ejection.

Damian negotiating obstacles.

Damian wave riding.

Although it clearly states “No Outside Food or Drinks” on the doors of the water park no one hassles you for having some snacks you brought from home to munch on during the hours you’re sitting there. In addition to their snack bar they have a pizza place (I called to have 2 pizzas ready for me to pick up at 7:30 p.m. for the kids Saturday night as the adults were retreating into Williamsburg proper for a decent meal in a nice restaurant: Corner Cafe. Tell Tony we sent you 😉). There is a buffet type restaurant on premises, ice cream and candy shops, gift stores and a full service Dunkin’ Donuts and an express. We brought breakfast and lunch supplies from home and even were able to pull off hot dogs and burgers with fixings our first night with the help of my portable electric griddle. Another plus is you never have to venture outside to get to any of the areas in the resort. From our room it was a short walk to anything on premises. The longest line I encountered anywhere was trying to buy some coffee in the morning after we ‘sprung ahead’.

Don loading the kids arcade cards with $.

The kids starting to amass a great quantity of tickets which they traded for copious amounts of junk.

All in all despite the dated animatronics you encounter with the Great Clock Tower and MagiQuest all the kids I observed seemed to be having a great time. I saw very few kids crying or carrying on. The biggest threat we faced were people trying to make off with your chairs in the water park. Typical interaction: “Are you using that chair?” Well, let’s see, I put all of my stuff on it because I’m not using the chair? Kim encountered one woman who actually asked her “Do you really need all those chairs?” Uh, there are 8 of us so YES. Get yourself down here 30 minutes before opening like my stupid in-laws if you want a chair! (Note: Kim would never say that last sentence. How she’s tolerated us all these years I’ll never know.) Management and check in staff were great! We encountered a few small problems with our room and they went out of their way to make it right. Kudos to them. I felt like a weekend was just the right amount of time to spend there. Since Michael is 18 and a very able babysitter it allowed us to go out to dinner with Steve & Kim and just reconnect on an adult level. The kids roamed between the arcade, bowling alley and the ice cream palor. They arrived back to the room just minutes before we did and got to spend some time together without the old folks interference. Our time together is always time well spent.

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About six weeks ago I went on a trip. Literally. I live on top of a mountain. Half the people I love don’t even want to come and visit me because of my road. On the best of days it is filled with holes, ridges and hairpin turns, drop off edges and areas where 2 cars just can’t pass side by side. Then there’s the good side. A paved road that is filled with hairpin turns, drop off edges and areas where 2 cars can pass side by side but just barely and all bets are off if there was a storm the night before and the tree limbs have decided to put up their own turnpikes.

Two days each week I leave the house in the pre-dawn hours to make the journey to my place of work. I despise going to work. I am perfectly fine once I am there (until the bullshit starts) but I hate getting up in the dark while everyone else is snuggly in bed. This particular morning we had the pleasure of a rain and wind storm overnight and I was picking my way through the scattered tree debris as I headed toward the “good” side of the road. About the same time as I am making my descent the intrepid school bus driver is performing the same feats as I except in the opposite direction. I have enormous respect for these road warriors who navigate these behemoths along the byways of Fauquier County. I move over as far as I can to give her the majority of the road. Unfortunately, due to the aforesaid storm, the ditch that lurks on the roadside is obscured by a plethora of leaves. Normally, this would present no problem as I drive an SUV type vehicle. Not today. Today I am driving our newly purchased econocar. (More on this shortly) The passenger side wheels no longer engage with the pavement and have now established a new relationship with the mud and I can’t break it up. Frustrated, I seek my cellphone so that I can make my ever-suffering Honey’s morning when I ask him to come set me free from the ditch.

One of the other reasons my loved ones don’t come see me is because I also have no cell service nor decent internet service on top of the mountain. I know where the “hot spots” reside so I know my only hope is to get out of the car and trudge back up the mountain to reach an area where I can complete my call. While trying to initiate the flashlight app on my phone I start my ascent. The darkness is total and engulfing due to the continued cloud cover and the only thing I can see is the illuminated screen on my phone. The next step I take finds my left foot now also unengaged with the pavement and when it lands in the mud of the ditch I turn over on my ankle. I know immediately that at best, it’s badly sprained and am unwilling to even contemplate the at worst. I don’t see much choice except to continue to try to reach a “hot spot” which I know is at least 2 miles from where I am.

God always looks out for me. I know this to be certain. Very soon I see the lights of a car approaching and as it comes closer to me it slows down then stops. It is 2 of my neighbors who roll down the window and ask me if I am OK. At this point I am so not OK that my only answer is an emphatic, “NO!” Followed by, “Can you drive my back to my house?” They most pleasantly oblige and I am deposited at my doorstep. As I enter the house my Honey is having coffee and has that look on his face that I know so well. It’s the look that says, “This is not good” (only it’s said with a lot of cursing and anguish). So I regale him with my saga then conclude with how I need to elevate and ice my sprained ankle. He assists me by retrieving an ice pack while I am gingerly attempting to remove my shoe and sock. He takes one look at the golf ball that has now attached itself to my ankle and that look returns to his face. My Honey does not often issue edicts to me. I usually don’t respond well to them. He informs me that we will drop Damian off at school and then proceed to the urgent care center for the official proclamation of what we already know is true. A couple of hours later, we emerge with the official proclamation (in CD form) and an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon the next day.

Now it’s time to deal with the car that wishes to continue its relationship with the ditch.
My Honey has already totally shifted his attention to the task at hand. All I can think about is the x-ray I saw of my ankle. I have high expectations after viewing it that I will not need surgery so I am looking at maybe 6 weeks with absolutely no income instead of 8 or more weeks. Did I mention that I am strictly a ‘work for pay’ person? Yeah. I receive no paid time off. Despite the fact that I have many hours of “frozen” sick time (let’s not go there) I will be sans paycheck throughout this whole ordeal. We are blessed, however, because as I mentioned earlier God takes care of me. Fortunately, our small business generates enough income to pay the mortgage so at least I won’t be convalescing in the shelter. The rest of the bills, well, that’s another story. Due to my own preoccupation with these thoughts and possibly the pain medication, I am not processing my Honey’s actions as well as I should. I am entering traumatized mode.

He is out of the SUV and is attaching some type of towing line to the econcar. (It seems his attempts to extricate the car also were unsuccessful and we are now in Plan B.) I am skeptical about this plan and may have even inquired about why we were not calling a tow truck but that may have just been a conversation I had in my head. As the evidence against my competency as a human being is mounting I am not risking drawing any attention to myself at this time. He pops back into the SUV and starts to pull the car from the mud.

Have you ever seen a fully charged fire hose that has come uncoupled while still attached to the open hydrant? Me either but I assume it looked like what happened when the mud released the car from its embrace. The car went careening across the road and plowed into the lovely board on board fencing that establishes the perimeter of one of the oldest and largest properties on the mountain. The stately estate has now had the full Russo experience and is somewhat worse for the wear. The econocar is a lot worse for the wear.

That look has once again returned to my Honey’s face. I am deposited back to the house while he calls the insurance company, towing company and then heads down to speak with our neighbors about the new entrance to their property. I know that despite the deductible the damage to the econocar will be covered by our insurance. I don’t believe we purchased that stupidity rider they suggested so I am now calculating the additional unforeseen expense of returning a stately estate to its former pristine condition. I am beginning to think I may not have enough pain medication.

Don returns with a different look on his face. It’s a look that says, “I really don’t know what just happened and am sincerely trying to process it.” He tells me that he goes up to the door and rings the bell. We know the proprietess of the property is a somewhat frail looking elderly woman. She answers the door and Don begins the unpleasant task of explaining why he is there. She invites him inside after noticing that he is wearing a VMI sweatshirt. (The Virginia Military Institute is where my son Eric graduated from college. It’s a pre-Civil War Institution that has an extensive and tightly knit alumni network.) She tells Don that her husband, for whom she is the caretaker, has dementia and was also a VMI Cadet. She has concerns that if something were to happen to him she would be unable to elicit assistance quickly because her children no longer live in the area. Don gives her all of our phone numbers and tells her that if she ever needs anything to simply call. His wife is a nurse and he is more than willing to come down at a moment’s notice. She tells Don that she believed God had brought him to her today because she had been concerned about her predicament. She also tells him to think nothing of the fence as she will have it taken care of and refuses to have him worry about it. I guess God takes care of both she and I.

The tow truck comes to take the econocar to the auto hospital and Don picks up the rental car.
The next morning I am given good news. No surgery and I can begin immediate weight bearing with an aircast. Predicted time out: 6 weeks if all goes well. I should be able to return to work before Christmas. Yes, Susan, there is a Santa Claus and it looks like he may be able to come visit your home after all!

Prior to my ‘trip’ we had begun to initiate what we have termed our ‘exit strategy’. Don turned 62 this year and although he is not ready for retirement I have felt that I certainly am. We had started to make a financial move that would bring us (me) ever closer to that goal. I have now clearly associated going to work as a life-threatening situation in my post-traumatically stressed mind. I fear that 6 weeks without a paycheck is going to derail my exit strategy. Panic and paranoia are my bed companions for that first week. I am freaking out! This is never a good look on me. I don’t do ‘vulnerable’ and it is unsettling to me and those around me. I cry, I can’t sleep and become obsessed that my lack of activity will lead to weight gain so my normally crazy eating habits moved to the next level. I start lifting weights. The orthopedic surgeon said that if there was no shift in the break after 2 weeks I should be home free. I move a lot but always with the thought of not shifting the break. I have paperwork that needs to be filled out for work to be approved for a ‘personal’ leave of absence. I worry that something is going to go wrong with that and I’ll lose my position. I am conflicted about why I am worried about losing my position because all I want to be able to do is not go to work anyway so what’s that about? I feel isolated and alone. My kids are like, “You’re fine.” I do not feel fine. I decide to go back to basics and do the work. I find that when things tend to be going really well I get lazy and stop doing the work. I define the work as those activities that when I engage in them make me feel my best: eating well, drinking more water and less wine, exercise, being outdoors, meditating, prayer and most of all accepting the fact that I was never in control in the first place.

From tinybuddha.com

We receive the communication that the plan we have been working on has come to fruition. God never lets me down. Happy days are here again! I am doing the work and start feeling better. In fact, I have an epiphany. After almost 6 weeks of staying at home I realize I miss my job. No, I don’t. Nobody misses being thrown up on. I miss the connections I make while doing my job. I miss being with people at their most vulnerable moments and just helping them get through them. I miss listening to my colleagues and just being there for them in their vulnerable moments. I miss them being there for me in mine. Vulnerability is a gift you give yourself. Allowing someone to see you stripped raw and trusting them enough to let you tell your truth is as close to experiencing God as we can get. We usually only share those moments with Him but you can convey some divine presence when you share vulnerability. Can it backfire sometimes? Sure, life is still a shit storm but grace is ever present.

The plague descends on Rancho Russo. It’s 2 days before Thanksgiving and Don has started to cough. At first it’s not too bad but after all our Thanksgiving festivities with friends and family he surrenders and the sounds that emanate from him at night are those heard coming from the little girl during her demonic possession in The Exorcist. Since no priest is readily available I insist he visit our doctor who promptly diagnoses bronchitis which he wastes no time in sharing with the rest of us. Yesterday was the first day I did not need medications to keep me from complete respiratory failure. I still did the work. It’s an interesting dynamic when the entire family is vulnerable at the exact same moment. Talk about turning it all over to God! If I could’ve had him come down from heaven and heat us all some soup I would have done it. P.S. My refrigerator decided to succumb to the plague. We pronounced it dead but were all too sick to bury it. Some sweet little angels came and took it home yesterday. May it rest in peace. We are all just travelers on our way to the same destination.

My Mother-in-Law called me yesterday to ask how I was enjoying my ‘vacation’.
I told her that I was looking forward to my return to work on Monday.

“God bless us, every one!”

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